Between Us

Chapter 48 : The Weight of Goodbye

I woke up slowly, my head heavy and the world around me a blur. For a moment, I couldn't make sense of where I was. Everything felt disjointed, unfamiliar. I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the dim light. The sterile scent hit me before I realized—I was in a hospital. White walls, the beeping of machines, the faint hum of voices from somewhere outside the room.

Then it hit me.

Engfa.

I remembered everything all at once, like a punch to the gut. The blood, her lying on the ground, my hands covered in it as I held her. My chest tightened as I tried to breathe. Was it a nightmare? It had to be. I prayed silently, hoping it wasn't real, repeating her name over and over in my head like some kind of mantra.

Without thinking, I started pulling at the wires attached to me. The IV, the heart monitor—I yanked them off one by one, desperate to find her. I needed to know if she was okay, if she was here somewhere. Maybe I'd just fainted. Maybe everything was fine and she was waiting for me in another room. I swung my legs off the bed, ready to stand, but just as I tried to push myself up, the door creaked open.

Nudee stepped in quietly, a coffee cup in hand, looking like she hadn't slept in days. Her eyes were swollen and red, her face pale. She saw me sitting up and rushed toward me, her face softening as she spoke.

"Charlotte, hey... how are you feeling?" Her voice was gentle, but her exhaustion was obvious. She tried to act normal, but there was something in her eyes that made my stomach drop.

I ignored her question. "Where's Engfa?" My voice cracked, panic bubbling up inside me. I searched her face for some kind of reassurance, but Nudee didn't answer right away. She looked away, fumbling with the coffee in her hands.

Nudee paused, her expression faltering for a moment before she pressed her lips together. "You need to lie back down. You fainted, you're still weak. You need to take it easy—"

"Where is she?" I cut in again, more forceful this time, my chest tightening as panic crept in. Nudee was talking too fast, avoiding my question, and it made me feel sick.

She swallowed hard, her eyes flickering nervously. She finally looked at me, her voice softer now, hesitant. "Charlotte... do you remember anything?"

"It was a nightmare," I whispered, trying to convince myself more than her. "Engfa is alive, right? She's fine. She's fine. It wasn't real. It couldn't have been."

I saw Nudee's lip quiver, her eyes welling up with tears she tried to blink away. She reached out, taking my hands in hers, but didn't say a word. The silence was suffocating, louder than anything she could've said.

I shook my head, pulling my hands away from hers, my heart pounding in my chest. "No, no... Nudee, please. Tell me it was just a dream. Please. Tell me it didn't happen." My voice broke, my whole body trembling, but she just stood there, her face crumpling as tears finally spilled down her cheeks.

And I knew.

I knew before she even said it, but I still couldn't accept it. It was too much. Too real. Too final.

Tears blurred my vision as I stumbled out of the hospital room, my legs barely able to carry me. I didn't care. I just had to find her. "Engfa... Engfa..." Her name was all I could say, over and over, as if repeating it would make her appear. I glanced frantically down the hallway, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't know where to go, but I had to find her.

Behind me, I heard Nudee's footsteps quicken. "Charlotte, wait!" Her voice was desperate, but I couldn't stop. I wouldn't.

I hurried past nurses, patients, all of them staring at me like I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. I couldn't stop looking into every room I passed, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, praying that somehow she'd be there, waiting for me.