Between Us

Chapter 53 : A Heartbeat Away

"What did you just do, Engfa?" Pichy's voice cut through the room, sharp and unrelenting.

I pressed my hands to my head, gripping my hair as I paced back and forth, my heart still racing from everything that had happened. "I couldn't help it," I said, my voice barely steady. "I... I just couldn't stop myself."

Pichy let out a long, frustrated sigh, crossing her arms. "Engfa, you should have thought this through," she said, her tone firm. "You should've talked to me first. You can't just show up like that, not after all this time."

"It wasn't planned," I replied, my words tumbling out fast, almost desperate. "I just wanted to see her, just for a second. I never thought I'd run into her in the park with Mia. And then, when she came back alone to go running, I saw her in the rain, and she... she fell. Pichy, she fell, and I couldn't just leave her there. I had to help her. I know it was risky, I know, but I couldn't turn my back on her, not when she needed me."

Pichy closed her eyes, rubbing her temples as if trying to keep her own patience in check. "I get it, Engfa, I do. But you have to understand—you disappearing hurt her. And coming back into her life like this, suddenly and without warning? That's not fair to her. You can't just walk back in and expect things to be the same."

I clenched my fists, frustration clawing at me. "I know I hurt her. But what was I supposed to do? Just stand by and let her believe I was gone forever? Pretend that she's fine while I'm just... hiding?"

Pichy shook her head slowly. "You had a reason for staying away, remember? That hasn't changed just because you missed her or because you felt something seeing her again. You can't let your emotions ruin everything you sacrificed for."

I stopped pacing, looking down, trying to take in her words. She was right, but the ache in my chest wouldn't let me think rationally. "I know," I murmured, barely a whisper. "But seeing her again... it made me realize how much I still love her. And it's tearing me apart to keep pretending she's just... out of reach."

Pichy sat across from me, arms folded, watching me carefully. "So... what did she say to you?" she asked, her voice low but probing.

I sank down onto the edge of the couch, feeling the weight of the question settle heavily on my shoulders. I looked down at my hands, trying to collect my thoughts, but everything about that encounter was tangled and raw. "Almost nothing," I said quietly, shaking my head. "At first, she didn't believe it was me. She kept looking at me like I was some ghost." I let out a shaky breath. "Then... she cried. Just broke down. But it didn't last long."

Pichy's face softened, but she stayed silent, letting me continue.

"After that," I murmured, "she just... shut down. One minute, she was holding onto me, crying, and the next, she was so cold. Like she flipped a switch. She wouldn't speak, wouldn't look at me."

Pichy sighed, leaning back and crossing her arms as she watched me, her expression torn between sympathy and exasperation. "What did you expect?" she said softly. "You reappeared in her life out of nowhere. She's been grieving you all this time. And now, after everything, you expect her to just... what, welcome you back with open arms?"

I swallowed hard, the ache in my chest tightening. "I didn't expect her to forgive me right away," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. "But I hoped... I don't know. I hoped she'd see how sorry I am."

Pichy shook her head, her gaze steady and unflinching. "You didn't give her the chance to understand, Engfa. You showed up without any warning, no explanation. She needs time to process this—time you haven't given her."

I looked away, feeling a fresh wave of guilt wash over me. She was right, of course. Charlotte had every reason to react the way she did, to feel angry, hurt, betrayed. But the look in her eyes before she left—the pain, the disbelief—it had gutted me.