it feels like i'm stuck in a loop
and the loop is stuck in some pit
and i don't have enough strength
to try to somehow get out of it.
love descended into this
like a tower of light into a spiral
of shadows, like a beanstalk
of terribly delightful possibilities,
and i clung on, held on, thinking
it'll take me out but no: it was a drill
that dug the pit even deeper and shattered
the loop into a million little prisons.
heartbreak is a strange way to finally belong
but it is a way nonetheless,
the way that i seem to have taken,
the way that seems to have taken me
away from the pulpit of my onlyness,
the way that seems to have taken to me
like hunger takes to availability,
like im takes to possibility.
~ ajay
6/12/2024
