Settle down

Chapter 38

What can they possibly be talking about? Seriously, french is boring and Harry is very difficult to talk to. They shouldn't be able to talk for this long without having awkward scilence moments! Please don't tell me I'm one of his other girls now. One of the ones that he just toy with until someone better comes along. Of cource that has to be it! Look at her. She is tall and super thin, she has very difined facial features and she could for sure be a model. Plus, her hair is much longer than mine and she definetely has gotten her period! Damn it Dora!

The bell rings telling us the class is over and I hurry out. I planned last night that I would wait for Harry and talk to him for real and ask what's going on before I "hurt him" (I doubt I can). Of cource I don't do that. Instead I walk quickly towards my next class, unfortunetly for me it's on the other side of the school so there's quite a walk.

"Lola!" I hear a voice behind me and I know who it is. This morning I would have been excited but now I'm just annoyed. I keep going pretending that I didn't hear. However I think everyone heard.

"Lola, stop!" He demands with a slightly angrier voice and a few faster steps gets him to me.

"Oh hi Harry. I didn't see you there." I say with a very fake smile.

"What's up with you? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" He says with a straight face.

"No no. I just don't want to be late again." I walk faster.

"Why were....." He begins

"It's been lovely talking to you, but I have to go. See you." I say trying not to sound upset and I walk away from him. As I walked away from him I noticed a lot of eyes in my direction. I get the feeling that not many girls treat "The Harry" that way.

I get to my locker and I get my things, but right before I'm done there someone slams the locker door close making me jump.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He aks not bothering to sound nice.

"Nothing? Why do you care?" Man I sound just like Dora.

"Nothing huh? You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" He says.

"Who was that girl?" I don't feel like wondering any longer and so I ask what I wondered.

"So that's what this is about?" He says with a laugh. I don't really see what's funny though.

"Who is she?" I ask again.

"Are you jealous?" He reach out to my face, but I pull away. Why isn't he answering?

"No, I was just wondering. You looked very good together." I say wanting him to either leave me alone or telling me who she is.

"You don't have to be. She was kind of boring and you are never boring." He says and I get even more annoyed.

"Seriously Harry. If nothing's going on between us I would appreciate you leaving me alone." I say trying to walk past him, but instead he holds me against the wall.

"What are you trying to say Lola?" He asks with a serious face. He is very strong which right now is not a good thing.

"Just that you can either stop flirting with other girls.......or you can stop flirting with me." I say and I'm surprised by my own words. He looks at me with his deep green eyes.

"You know that's not an option." He says and losens his grip on me. I don't say anything. Instead I look questioning on him."

"I guess we'll see what happens." He says and I feel hurt and disapointed.

"You know what? Screw that Harry. I think it's better if we don't see each other anymore or whatever we are doing. Sorry but I have to get to class." His face softens and it hurts. I don't know where, but something definetely hurts.

"Lola wait..." I push past him and walk to my next class.

........

I had a very hard time focusing this class and my teacher asked me to stay afterwards just to ask me how I was feeling. Of course I said that I was fine and that I was just a little tired, but that was quite a bit from the truth.

On my way to the cafeteria to meet Sally I feel like I could sink into the ground at any point. I have absolutely no energy and I don't even try to make people believe otherwise.

"Wow Lola! You look horrible. What's going on!?" She says with a surprised look.

"Wow Sally, thanks. That's just what I needed to hear." I answer her ironically.

"Seriously Lola. I'm getting worried now. This is not like you." Her surprise has been changed to a worried look.

"Plan's off Sally. I don't want to do this anymore." I say avoiding her stare.
"I'm sorry, I know you wanted...." I begin.

"No, no, no Lola. Don't apologize." She looks into my eyes.
"Hey, what happened? What made you change your mind?" She asks kindly.

"I-I think we "broke up", if that's even possible" I say with a low voice.

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" She change seat to the one next to me and she places her hand on my thigh.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just, you know... I think I was starting to fall for him." I say and look down again.

"Lola I....." She begins.

"It was probably for the best anyway. I was stupid to think that I could pull this off without getting hurt myself." I say and she looks carefully at me and then she goes from serious to Sally again.

"Okay! On a brighter note. As you know it's my birthday next week and I'm thinking of throwing a party. I know you don't party but I thought that you maybe could make an exception this time?" She asks happily.

"Yeah of course! If it's your birthday I can't say no can I?" She shakes her head.

We eat our lunch and after a while the rest of Sally's squad joins us. Minutes of party planning goes by and I find myself thinking of something else. Someone else. Paul takes his usual seat next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders.
I feel like shit and so I excuse myself from the table and leave.
My next class is history together with Tim. And Harry.

I open my locker and get my things and I start walking towards my class. Just outside the door I spot Harry and our eyes lock. I can see something flashing in them. Sorrow? No, definitely not! He leaves his place by the door and starts walking towards me. I feel like running the other way but in the last second I see Tim further away and together with him I see my ticket away from Harry.

"Tim!" I yell when Harry's three meters from me. Tim looks in my direction and I jog up to him. Past Harry. Without looking back.