Settle down

Chapter 51

Harry once again takes my hand in his and lead the way. He squeezes my hand in some special way, like he wants to make sure I'm still there. We walk together out from the small, confusing streets and on to the "main" street here and I instantly feel better when I know where I am.

"Where is your car?" I ask him when I don't see any cars around.

"At home" He smiles at me. "I don't take the car here, there's not that many good parking spots."

"Isn't your house far away from here? We can't walk all the way there." I say as I remember that I've been there for the gala. He lived quite a bit from the city.

"No, uhm. I don't live with my father if that's the house you're referring to." He says and looks away from me. That catches me quite off guard and I don't know what to say. He's only nineteen. How can he live by himself?

"So... do you have a roomie?" I ask silently. He can't have his own apartment at this age. Where would he get that money?

"No Lola. I don't have a roomie." He chuckles and brings me closer to him. He places his hand around my waist and holds me close to him as we walk.

"Do you live alone then? Alone in an apartment?" I pause and look at him. "Harry, how can you afford that?" I ask and his face goes serious, but he doesn't let go of me.

"Well, I don't pay for it.... My father bought it for me when I said I would move out and he sends me some money every month. I just pay for the food I eat so I'm doing good." He says and looks at his feet. We turn right at a little junction and we arrive to a very nice looking house where we walk in. Harry guides the way to the elevator and we get off at the forth floor. At his door there's a little sign that says Styles. I can't believe he has his own apartment.

When we get in he takes my jacket and hangs it on a peg on the wall beside his. I'm very surprised when I look inside. The apartment is surprisingly clean and stylish. I would have thought that it would be messy and dark and smell weird. It's fresh and open. The only messiness I see is in the kitchen, but that's okay, I would get scared if the kitchen was perfect too.

We sit down in a sofa in front of the TV, but we don't watch anything. We just talk about random things that doesn't have any meaning. We shared few genuine laughters and I think the sound of Harry's laughter is my new favorite sound. After a while of small talk I feel the need to ask him why he lives here. I mean isn't it normal to live home at this age or am I just odd?

"Harry? How come you live on your own?" I ask while playing with his curls that are laying across my lap. He goes from relaxed to a little tense and I feel like this may be a touchy topic for him. He slowly sits up and turns to me with a serious look. He doesn't look angry serious as earlier, he looks just sad serious. I don't like seeing him like that and I immediately regret asking.

"Uhm, when my mom died a bit over a year ago, my dad lost it. She was such a big part of our lives, especially mine. I didn't have the greatest relation with my father, but I had my mom. She felt more like a best friend then a mother and she was the only one who I could talk to. She understood me in a way no one ever has and she was the only one I could love. I had, or still have, a hard time dealing with feelings, but uhm...." He pauses and looks at his hands who shakes a little.

"Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't know." I say softly and jumps closer to him. I take his hands in mine and he looks up at me.

"My father zoned out a lot and ignored me completely and for someone who just lost the most important person in his life, I couldn't stand it. I needed support and help, but I didn't get any of it. This then led to me doing loads of shitty things." I listen and take in every word he says. "So my father and I didn't really get along for a long time and then he met Louise." She's a bitch, I know that for sure. "I didn't get along with Louise either and she just made the situation 100 times worse. When my dad told me that she was moving in and that he'd proposed, I lost it. I told him I would leave town to live by myself, he would however not take that. He then bought this apartment and he sends me money every month." He says and looks at the door. I can't help but too feel a strong dislike towards Marvin. How could he not see that a broken boy needed a father? The least he could do was to pay for Harry's apartment. He looks so sad. I hate that I made him tell me this, but I'm glad that he felt like he could tell me. I don't know what to say now. He's opened up to me. Harry stands up and walks into another room, but I stay seated in his sofa. A few moments pass before he comes back to me with a frame in his hands. He sits down next to me. The picture in the frame is of a woman and I know immediately that it's Harry's mother. She has a big white smile on her face and kind eyes, I can definitely see similarities between them.

"She's beautiful." I say as I look at the picture. "You look a lot like her." He looks at the picture of his mother with a look so filled with misery and longing that it hurts in my whole body. His eyes waters and turn a light pink color. Tears wants to break through, but he blinks them away. I take the picture from his hands and carefully place it on the table in front of us. He looks questioningly at me. I sit down in his lap and takes his face in my hands.

"You don't always have to be strong, remember?" I remember him saying those words to me once and now I say them back at him. One lonely tear falls down his face and I bring myself closer to him. I gently place my mouth on his and I instantly feel a weak taste of salt. His hands takes a grip of my waist and he kisses me back. I've never in my life felt so powerful feelings towards another person. There's something special about us. One of his hands leave my waist and moves to under my legs and the other one holds my back. He then stands up, carrying me bridal style, but our faces never loses contact. He carry me into his bedroom and lets me down on his bed as he gets on top of me. His tongue runs along my bottom lip asking for permission to enter.