Borrowed Time Part 2

Chapter 240

She had slept for shit following everything with Ethan, her mind laden with thoughts of how she was the worst possible person, how she didn't deserve love, how Esme deserved better even as they slept with their head on her chest, and it'd left her very annoyed, very exhausted, and very unwilling to learn.

But despite all that, she made it to history class.

"Ugh." She groaned, her head pitching forward to the desk in spite of the burn in her spine.

"You look like shit today." Juliette lifted her head and glared over at Tate who, for his credit, looked concerned and not judgmental, but either way?  That wasn't what she wanted to hear right now.

"Wow, what a kind way to greet me, Tate." She said, hoping that the sarcasm that she was trying to put into her tone read through, but she was too tired to put her full effort behind it. 

Tate frowned and reached over, rubbing his hand gently over her back before he pulled back again, seeming to notice that she tensed unconsciously under his hand.  Objectively she knew that he was nothing like Ethan, but that didn't make her subconscious any more comfortable.

Good.  I'll bite you.  Don't touch.  She rested her head against her forearms again, grimacing at the burn in her back... She'd slept like shit last night, and she was feeling that now.

"Sorry. Good morning." He said, and Juliette sighed, lifting her head from where she'd let it fall against her forearms, frowning at him. She let her head get heavy again, but instead of landing on the table, she let it rest on Tate's shoulder.

He was sturdy but still soft - made for a better resting spot than the desk did.

"Good morning." She sighed, closing her eyes as she crossed her arms across her chest, turning a bit so that her neck wasn't as strained leaning on him, letting her cheek catch his shoulder instead of her forehead. "And I feel like shit." She tried to say that quiet enough that he wouldn't catch it, but that was wishful thinking because unfortunately Tate was a wonderful listener.

He shrugged slightly, making her lift her head. Juliette frowned, but did what he wanted and looked over at him.

"Why?" She grimaced, looking away from him and down at the carpet, focusing and unfocusing her eyes as she looked at the gray, scratchy ground beneath her. "Is something wrong?" He asked, and she let out a humorless chuckle and shrugged.

If it was anyone else, yeah. Something was wrong... But she didn't want it to be her that something was wrong for. That was embarrassing, that was hard to deal with, and she just wanted the rest of the year to pass without incident.

"Even if something's wrong, no one can help." Did that sound foreboding and perhaps a little scary? Sure, but it was genuinely what she felt.

Tate, for his part, did not seem like he was going to accept what she was saying, instead choosing to take her hand and give it a soft squeeze.

Your kindness disgusts me.

"That's... A really damaging mindset to have." Maybe it was damaging, but right now it sort of felt like the only mindset that would get her through a single fucking bit of life - she needed to be cynical to survive, that was how people made it out of this fucking place with their sanity. "What happened?" He asked, and Juliette sighed, squeezing her eyes shut before she dug the heels of her hands into the sockets a bit, frowning as she felt her eyes tingle, letting the stars overtake her as she thought of what to say.

"Mmm..." She could tell him, she really could... But she didn't want to rehash it right now, there were too many prying ears. "No." She sighed, and Tate raised an eyebrow, looking at her with a soft expression of concern as he shifted in his seat a bit, tapping his chest again so that she knew that she could rest her head.