Borrowed Time Part 2

Chapter 245

Fighting with Esme had taken everything out of Juliette, and she'd gone through the entire day like a zombie, only speaking when spoken to, fighting the constant urge to lash out at people, wanting nothing more than to go home and sleep... But she couldn't.

No, because when she'd been feeling good she'd scheduled to hang out with Micheal and Shelby at Micheal's house because they hadn't hung out as a trio in a long time... Normally it would be a lovely, healing time but she couldn't get Esme off her mind, she couldn't get the harshness of their tone to go away, the anger and coldness in their eyes, and the gnawing, horrifying knowledge that she had caused that all on her fucking own.  It was horrible to think about, that she could manage to turn someone so gentle and loving into someone so angry.

What did it say about her, right?  Like... If she brought Esme's anger out, what else was she actually earning for the treatment she was receiving?  Who else was she angering every single day?  Maybe that was why she really only had two longstanding friends and most everyone else had faded away over the years until her new crop... Maybe that was entirely her fault.

She was the common denominator after all, and-.

 "Juliette." Shelby's voice sounded like it was a million miles away, but it was enough to break her thought process... Not enough that she wanted to respond though, because if she could focus on ignoring her for a little while longer, she could go back into her thoughts and-. "Hey." Her hand was on her arm... That was impossible to ignore.

"Hm?" She looked over to where Shelby and Micheal were sitting together on the couch, raising an eyebrow... maybe if she pretended like she hadn't been on another planet for a second there then Shelby would leave well enough alone. It was a pipe dream, but she wanted to dream it. "What's up?" She asked, noticing the worried look on Shelby's face.

Shit.

That hadn't been the first time she'd said her name, had it?

"Dude, you've been zoned out for like ten minutes, I've been saying your name for a while now." Juliette grimaced, looking away from her... It was embarrassing when anyone caught her dissociating, but especially when it was the same girl who sat with her through it for years when she just couldn't get back into her body after her mom died. It was like the grief had hijacked it... This was nothing like that but knowing that Shelby knew what her worst looked like didn't make her feel optimistic. "You okay?" She asked, and Juliette shrugged.

Part of her just wanted to lie, to say she was fine and get it over with... The other part of her knew that Shelby would know she was lying before she even finished her sentence. She was damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

"Yeah." Shelby raised an eyebrow and she sighed, hanging her head. Damn it. "No." But like... She could be worse, maybe she was just being dramatic. That sounded like her. "I don't know." She mumbled, which was clearly not the answer that either of them wanted, she could tell from the look they exchanged.

She was giving them great training for if they ever decided to have kids, they already looked like concerned parents.

"What do you mean?" Shelby asked, her voice gentler than Juliette had thought it was going to be... She was pretty sure that the softness was not going to remain through the conversation the more that she spoke, but she was savoring it right now.

"Esme and I got into a fight yesterday about how I'm handling the shit with Ethan-." Shelby cut her off, raising an eyebrow.

"You mean not handling it and pretending like if you bury your head in the sand, you're simply gonna have it all go away?" Juliette gritted her teeth, feeling the frustration clog up her throat a bit... It was like breathing through a straw. She hated when Shelby did shit like that - like she knew that it was a joke from the look on her face, but she also had to know that Juliette didn't wanna hear it. "Is that what you're referring to?" She asked, forcing Juliette to take a deep breath before she responded.