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i watched the girls i was just hanging out with whisper and point at me from the corner they're standing in to get away from me. i've already cried 5 times tonight, i feel so ugly and i've been spam texting my girlfriend, just to hear nothing back.
i've been watching all the tour videos and she looks so hot up on stage. i hate all the fucking girls who gush over her on the internet, it just makes this so much worse for me.
they came back over and gave me weird looks as they sat down. "so like.. you dont have any other friends here?" i just got up and left. i got in my car and scream cried. i fucking hate life right now... but im alive so i guess i should be okay. that's what my mom would say.
bils : you look so pretty baby
bils : my girlfriend
ness : dont lie im so ugly
bils : stop wtf ness
bils : girl i die everytime i see u
ness : thats ur job!!!
bils : dude what can i do to make u believe ur beautiful?
ness : come home and fuck me
bils : thats all i wanna doooo nessaaaa
ness : im goign to sleep im so ddrunk
bils : goodnight my baby
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(the next day...)
i was sitting in a mall in dallas texas, eating lunch when nessa facetimed me. "hey! how are you feeling?" i asked, propping my phone up against my cup. "im great!" i looked at my phone and she looked great. she dressed, her makeup down and wearing her work clothes.
"that's good, baby. you look pretty, time for work?"
"mhm! im running late, i just wanted to tell you i love you, and i miss you."
"i love you too, i have some time right now i wish we could talk more." i said, "i know.. fuck it, i just wont hang up until i get to work."
"you sure?"
"more than."
short chapter.. feeling lazy idk why guuysss. i wanna keep writing and i am. bear with me.
