Dear. My Darling | Gongfourz / Taehan

Chapter 37

The following days were a blur. Taesan retreated into himself, the joy of life drained from him.

He went through the motions, attending meetings, forcing a smile for the cameras, but his mind was a million miles away, consumed by the betrayal. The image of Leehan with someone else haunted him relentlessly, fueling his anger and despair.

Taesan found himself constantly searching for reassurance, for a sign that Leehan still loved him. But, he just couldn't face him or even ask him for any clarifications or assurances. If it was his younger self, he would've, but somehow.. somehow he just can't right now.

What could I do? He asked himself lots of times and instead of just asking his man himself, he opted for different options like the conversation he had with a bartender..

"What an odd thing to do" would be the reaction his younger self will say to him.

------

"I'm having a hard time with my boyfriend lately. He's been acting distant and I don't know what to do."

The bartender listens attentively to Taesan's story.

"It sounds like you're feeling really hurt and confused right now. Have you tried talking to him about how you're feeling?" He said, wiping the glasses.

Taesan nods his head. "I've tried, but he just brushes me off. He says I'm being oversensitive."

Lies. He never had a conversation with Leehan after that night.

The bartender takes a sip of his drink and then says, "Sometimes people blame others because they're the ones who are doing it. They're projecting their own insecurities and fears onto their partner."

Taesan is taken aback by the bartender's words. "You think that's what's happening with my boyfriend?"

The bartender nods his head. "It's possible. It's also possible that he's going through a tough time and is afraid to talk to you about it."

Taesan starts to think about what the bartender said. "You know, you're right. I've been so focused on how I'm feeling that I haven't considered how he might be feeling.

"It's good that you're starting to think about things from his perspective. Now, what are you going to do?" The bartender smiles at Taesan.

Taesan takes a deep breath as he thought for a moment.

"I don't think it's okay to talk to him, maybe he needs time and space too, so maybe I'll give gifts first? It always work before."

The bartender nods his head approvingly. "That's a good plan. I wish you the best of luck."

-----

He started showering Leehan with gifts - expensive watches, designer clothes, extravagant dinners. He wanted to show Leehan how much he cared, to prove his love in tangible ways.

"Enter" Leehan said, carefully organizing the paperworks.

The door clicked then silence followed before sounds of a box and plastics being put on top of his desk.

He looked up, meeting Taesan's soft gaze. Leehan abruptly stood up.

See, after that night, Leehan wanted to apologize for his actions but was afraid it wasn't the right time yet and gave Taesan some time and space first.

He asked for help to a his aunt that was just 2 years older than him. People who saw them that night might think they're too intimate if they saw them on a certain angle but Leehan was just too tall for her.

His aunt told him to give Taesan some space first after he told her what happened but it he should at least say something or apologize just in case. But, Leehan never had the courage so he sent gifts for him instead.

Taesan looked at his presents. "I'm sorry for not saying that I'll pay a visit but-"

He was cutted off when Leehan hugged him like he'll fade away. He was taken a back at first but he slowly returned it back.

"I'm sorry for that night, Min." Leehan whispered as Taesan patted his back before Leehan moved backwards.

"I didn't think of my words much and just concluded things out, I'm sorry." He added.

Taesan smiled at him, "It's alright. I bought you your favorite flowers and gummies."

"I should be the one giving those things, Min." Leehan replied shyly.

"You gave me lots already. You really thought I wouldn't know by not writing your name? You're the only one who wraps presents like that." Taesan said, teasing him, which Leehan smiled widely.

At first, Leehan was touched by Taesan's gestures. The lavish gifts were certainly impressive, and he appreciated the effort. However, as the days turned into weeks, a nagging unease began to settle within him. The constant stream of presents felt overwhelming, suffocating even. It was as if Taesan was trying to buy his affection, to compensate for something he felt he had lost.

"Oh," Leehan moved aside, turning to Taesan who's in the driver's seat, "What is this?"

Taesan smiled, gently putting the paper bags on top of Leehan's lap. "A little present."

"Did I missed something?" Leehan stared at the bags, confused.

Taesan shook his head before smiling, "Just wanna give you something. Can't I do that?"

Leehan looked up at him, smiling lightly before nodding.

Leehan craved connection, genuine affection, and meaningful conversations. He wanted to spend quality time with Taesan, to feel his love in his touch, in his words, in his eyes.

Instead, he was bombarded with material possessions, leaving him feeling empty and unfulfilled.

He tried to express his concerns to Taesan, but his words were met with confusion and hurt. Taesan, convinced that Leehan was still upset about what happened, insisted that he was only trying to make things right.

The rift between them widened, fueled by misunderstandings and unmet needs.

Leehan felt increasingly suffocated by Taesan's attempts to compensate for his perceived shortcomings, while Taesan, oblivious to Leehan's true desires, continued to pour his heart and wallet into extravagant gifts.

Until when can Leehan hold back the urge to say that he needs his love? Surely, Taesan will stop and realize somehow, right?