Dear. My Darling | Gongfourz / Taehan

Chapter 39.5

Leehan's side of the story

Leehan walked aimlessly through the city streets, his coat pulled tightly around him to shield against the biting wind. The fight had left him drained, his mind spinning with Taesan's words. He didn't know where he was going; all he knew was that he couldn't go back. Not yet.

Hours passed, and Leehan finally found himself in the quiet refuge of a café on the edge of the city. He ordered a cup of tea, but it went untouched, the steam curling into the air between his trembling hands. He stared out the window, watching the world move on without him, feeling as though he were stuck in place.

His mind replayed Taesan's frustrated pleas. "What more do you want? Tell me!"

The memory stung, but it also forced him to confront his own role in their unraveling. Had he been too vague about what he needed? Had he let his resentment fester too long?

Still, the weight of Taesan's inability to understand the simplest thing-his love-cut too deeply for him to think beyond the pain. For now, all Leehan could do was try to breathe and hold himself together.

-----

Leehan spent the days in quiet solitude, alternating between anger and heartbreak. He stayed with a close friend, who gave him space while quietly offering comfort when he needed it. Each morning, Leehan debated whether to call Taesan, but fear and pride held him back.

He sat cross-legged on Riwoo's couch, clutching a steaming mug of tea. Riwoo perched on the armrest, his dark eyes fixed on him with a mix of concern and curiosity.

"Speak up or I'll assume that your harassing my mug" Riwoo asked, his tone light but insistent.

Leehan laughed a bit before sighing, setting the mug down on the coffee table. "Taesan and I had a fight," he admitted. "A big one."

Riwoo frowned. "A fight? What happened?"

Leehan hesitated before recounting the argument in halting sentences. When he was finished, Riwoo let out a low whistle.

"Damn. That's... a lot," he said. "But honestly, Han, I'm not surprised. You've been bottling this up for days. It was only a matter of time before it all came spilling out."

"I didn't want to hurt him," Leehan said quietly, his fingers curling into his lap. "But I just... I couldn't take it anymore. I feel like he doesn't see me. It's like he thinks throwing money at me will solve everything, but all I want is him."

"And did you tell him that?" Riwoo asked, tilting his head.

Leehan nodded. "I did. But he didn't understand. Or maybe he did, and it just... broke something between us."

They both stared at the table, the ticking of the clock was the only sound heard.

Riwoo's mind kept circling back to what Leehan said where he admitted how Taesan's grand gestures weren't what he really wanted.

It didn't make sense. Riwoo and the guys had always watched Taesan do everything for Leehan. The trips, the way he'll drive for Leehan, the expensive dinners, the designer gifts, the endless surprises-it was all Taesan, constantly trying to show his love in the only way he knew how. And Leehan always seemed happy with it, even grateful.

So why now? Why, after all these years, was Leehan suddenly saying it wasn't enough?

Riwoo let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. Wasn't that what people wanted in relationships? The tangible things, the gestures that proved you cared?

Leehan had always smiled, always accepted Taesan's gifts without complaint. But now...

He shook his head, trying to make sense of it all.

"It's just... confusing," he muttered to himself, leaning back against the couch. He understood the idea, right? That love wasn't just about material things-it was about connection, intimacy, vulnerability.

But how could Leehan want something else when Taesan had already given him everything?

Riwoo thought of his own relationships, the way he had always tried to show affection through actions and things. Sure, sometimes he'd forget the small emotional details-the words, the feelings-but he never thought it could be a dealbreaker. He'd always assumed that if you gave enough, enough meant love.

But now... now, it didn't feel so simple.

With a deep exhale, Riwoo closed his eyes and thought. "It's not just about what's given, is it?"

He paused, trying to imagine what Leehan had been feeling all this time. He had always been the quiet one, not one to ask for much. But perhaps, under the surface, there was something more-something that Taesan had missed in his attempts to show his love instead of truly sharing it.

Maybe Leehan wasn't asking for things. Maybe he was asking for Taesan.

Riwoo opened his eyes to see Leehan rubbing his temples. It wasn't that Leehan didn't appreciate the gifts, but... maybe he needed more from Taesan than just what money could buy. He needs something deeper. Something Taesan doesn't know how to give yet.

Riwoo smiled softly, though it was bittersweet. It wasn't going to be easy for Taesan. But he understood now, at least. Love wasn't just in the grand gestures-it was in the quiet moments, the shared silences, the emotional depth that couldn't be bought. And that, Riwoo realized, was what Leehan truly craved.

Riwoo sighed, leaning forward. "Han, you know I'm on your side, but I think you both need to have a real conversation. Not in the heat of an argument, not when emotions are running high. You need to tell him what you feel, and you need to hear what he has to say, too."

Leehan looked away, his throat tightening. "What if it doesn't change anything?"

"It might not," Riwoo admitted. "But what's the alternative? Walking away without knowing for sure? That'll eat at you more than anything else."

Riwoo reached out and squeezed his hand. "Give yourself time to sort through your feelings. And when you're ready, reach out. But don't leave things unresolved, Han. You owe it to yourself-and to him."

Leehan nodded slowly, his heart heavy but a flicker of determination sparking in his chest.

---

That evening, Leehan returned to his apartment to find a neatly folded envelope slipped under the door. His heart raced as he recognized Taesan's handwriting scrawled across the front: To My Darling.

With trembling hands, he opened it.

Dear My Darling,

I know I've hurt you. I know I've been blind to what you needed and selfish in how I've tried to love you. I don't have the right words to make this better, but I want you to know that I'm trying to understand. I'll give you the space you need, but please... don't let this be the end. You're my everything, and I'll wait as long as it takes for you to let me try again.

-Han Dongmin

Leehan stared at the letter for what felt like hours, tears slipping down his cheeks. It wasn't an apology, not entirely-it was a promise, tentative and raw, but enough to pierce through the haze of anger and sadness that had consumed him.

For the first time in days, he felt the faintest flicker of hope.

"For years I fought for the love I've been looking for but I was so blind not to see you who's been with me since the beginning. We'll fight for this, right?" Leehan said to himself, wiping his tears.