Burning for her

Chapter 37

Abigail

I should be unpacking. Moving in for good, turning this place into ours. But I couldn't really get my limbs to move from the middle of the living room. I looked around, staring at my boxes all around the house, feeling like I was invading someone else's home. In a way I was.

Even though I spent most of my time here already and I did have my stuff laying around here and there, this place was still Clara's. It was pristine, clean, untouched. And for some reason the thought of kicking the vibes up made it hard to breathe.

I had no idea what came over me. But for some reason the thought that I had nowhere to run from here made my knees weak. Everytime I spent here, I always did it with the thought in the back of my mind that I could leave. I could still leave if I want to. No one was forcing me to stay. So why was my head playing games with me, trying to convince me that I was committing to something very dangerous?

I could feel Clara's brown eyes on my back. Watching me from afar, probably trying to find the right words to say. She was always watching me, though... there was nothing new about that. But now, I could feel something in her gaze... hesitancy, doubt, something that turned her gaze fragile. Like she was standing there, waiting for me to change my mind and run away.

I wasn't going to. I wanted this. My heart knew it well, only my mind needed a little time to catch up and accommodate.

"It's weird, isn't it? It's strange." I turned around slowly, gazing at her. The sleeves of her black shirt were rolled up, arms crossed in front of her chest, her head tilting to the side.

"Weird?" Her voice was way softer than expected. Almost a whisper. "What feels weird?"

"This." I pointed at us and then the boxes. "This is not just your place anymore."

"I'm well aware of that, love." A soft smile pulled on her lips. Why was I the only one panicking? Why wasn't she nervous about this?

"Aren't you afraid we are going too fast?"

Clara's lips parted, like my question surprised her and she wasn't sure what to answer. "I waited 8 years for this, Abigail. I wouldn't call it too fast." Something shifted in the air, changed and I was wondering if she could feel it too. If she was aware of the tension stretching between us.

I could only guess what the expression on her face meant. She looked like my question offended her, like my words hurt her, but I had no intention to do that. I wanted to lighten the mood, to say something that would brush the tension away, but she outran me, walking closer. Slowly. Stopping when there was still a feet distance between us left.

She was close enough to feel the pull between our bodies. Close enough to lure me into her gravity and tempt me to cut the distance and wrap my arms around her. She always had this effect on me.

"You can dance back, Abbie." She murmured. "You can walk out and I won't stop you." She assured.

I bit the side of my lips nervously. "But you would want to."

Clara didn't deny it. She wasn't going to lie into my face. She reached out for me and I didn't move. Not away, not closer. Her fingers brushed against my wrist, caressing my skin there. It was strange how soft and gentle she could be in moments like these, and how scary she was other times.

"I won't leave." I promised, reassuring her that she did not need to worry about that. She let out a long exhale, tension disappearing from her shoulders.

I spent a handful of mornings here, so I had no explanations why my heart was racing when I realized where I woke up the next morning.