Imagining Us

Ch.83- A Chance at a Future

Two weeks  passed since the game night with his friends, and Esi could count on one hand the number of times that she'd seen her boyfriend. Porte usually always found a way to be near her or to contact her.

They were friends first before everything, and she loved the fact that they could talk about almost anything.

Yes, she had friends that she made in college and cousins who were so close that they felt like sisters, but Porte Danvers felt like her best friend.
Esi told him things that she'd never even told her family–he guessed things about her that she never even admitted to herself.
Their relationship wasn't perfect; there was still this weird seesaw dynamic with him sometimes. Like he was tethered elsewhere, and she was trying to ground him in the present with her.
They were both stupidly stubborn which sometimes led to heated staredowns and mutual apologies, but she loved him. So much and so fully that even now it didn't make sense to her.

Why was her heart so willing to open for him more than anyone else? Why did it feel like some deeper, more spiritual part of her felt at home with him?

She could read all the romance and poetry books with their flowery languages and over the top declarations, but none of them could compare to how she felt when she was in his arms. And it was her deepest hope that he felt the same way when he was with her.

Graduation was a few weeks aways, and she just had her final meeting with her thesis committee. In ten days, she would submit her final defense draft. She was both confident and nervous about her defense. Her mind should be focused on that, not the fact that Porte was essentially avoiding her.

Esi didn't want to message Luka–she didn't want him to be constantly involved in this cyclical dynamic–but she wanted to know if he'd seen Porte or spoken to him.
Luka replied that he'd been at their family home a few times for the week and that he seemed fine.

He was avoiding her, and she knew when he started to pull away that there was usually one reason for that.

But they'd been moving forward, she tried to assure herself.  A dark thought crossed her mind, or maybe she was the only one that was looking forward.

Esi shook the thought away. She and Porte had plans. Plans to travel in the summer. She was thinking of doing that internship to stay in the States longer while they figured out what would happen after. He didn't have a problem with moving to England. Their family had an estate in Wiltshire where his dad grew up. Plus, the investment group's home base was London, and his father had previously mentioned opening a gallery there.

The future was filled with so many possibilities, but who knew whether or not they would come to pass if Porte didn't talk to her.

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She stood outside Porte's apartment door. He had given her a key, but it suddenly felt intrusive for her to barge in. Hesitantly, she pressed the doorbell button and waited.

At least a minute passed before he opened the door, and she wondered if he thought about not opening it.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi."

There was something unusually awkward about their greeting. Esi saw as his hand gripped the doorknob tightly. His body was blocking her from entering his apartment, and he didn't offer her entry. That should have been her first warning.

She tried not to let the hurt show on her face.

"Aren't you going to let me in?" she asked almost tightly.