Imagining Us

Ch.82-Porte

"What's wrong with you?" JJ asked.

Porte hadn't even realized that his friend had sidled up next to him. Last time he saw him, he'd been walking down the hallway towards Trick's study. It wasn't really a study; he was pretty sure that Patrick Behringer had never read any of the books in that room, but the man didn't need any books to know how to manipulate people. Porte supposed his nickname fit him.

The "study" was a dark room for despondent people—a room that he used to frequent.

Porte remembered the first time–his initiation in these "games". It was after he and Talia had–

He shuddered to think about it, even after these years because he hadn't wanted to– not with her. Especially not with her, but he was drowning in guilt at the time, and he let her grief cloud any sort of morality. He let her hate him and use him.

Porte ran a weary hand down his face then scoffed at JJ's words. "You mean other than the fact that you didn't tell me that Violet was going to be here," he started. "Or maybe it's the look in Trick's eyes as he watches Esi."

JJ raised a brow at his pissy mood.

His friend did not deserve this attitude, but Porte was tired and annoyed. He was only here because Esi insisted on being sociable with his friends. (He had to remind her that he didn't like any of them except maybe JJ). But tonight they were at a "tame" version of their games night.

Being here gave Porte flashbacks to a less proud time in his life and the debauchery that ensued from this group. He truly wished that he was anywhere else. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he'd lost track of his girlfriend.

Porte always felt like there was a part of him that innately knew where she was. Recently, that part of him had been strained–not because of her–because he'd been having those dreams again. His mind was acting up, and he could sense something coming. Something that had to do with Talia. It made him uneasy and nervous. Just when he'd thought that he found his stride. Just when he and Esi had found some stability.

His subconscious was pushing to the forefront of his mind. Telling him that Esi would soon realize that something was wrong. She would realize that he couldn't be fixed, and she would leave.

Just the thought of that threatened to tear apart his very being.

So why not let her go before she could leave?

Why not let her go before he became hurt?

But he craved her.

He craved the light that she was—the light that she brought to his life.

His selfishness might just be her undoing.

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A movement out of the corner of his caught his attention, and he pushed off the wall he was leaning against. He'd positioned himself here to get a complete view of the room. With this group of people, he needed to know where everyone was.

Coming here was not a good idea. It always bothered him to know why JJ still hung with this crowd—he was so ridiculously good that it didn't make sense. But Porte knew why his friend really came. Once you got a taste of what was offered, it could be addicting.

Porte didn't need the money, he played for the high stakes. He did it because it gave him a sense of power when he walked out mostly physically unscathed. His father had made him stop fighting years ago, but he'd found another vice.

He could never tell Esi about what really went on behind those doors–of what really happened behind the scenes of her precious Ivy league school.

Porte hadn't played–hadn't been here since last year because he had a reason to stop. His de-initiation from the group made him forget why he'd ever joined in the first place, and he'd had to hide the marks on his back from Esi for more than a month. There was something more personal behind the blows that he was dealt, and even as Trick watched him from across the room, there was hatred in the man's eyes.

He thought that he and Porte were cut from the same cloth–that Porte didn't deserve to escape.

His reverie was interrupted by Esi walking towards him with a determined look in her eyes. She greeted JJ again then turned to Porte.

She placed a hand on her hip.

"So...Violet, huh?" she asked.

So she had seen the stilted interaction earlier between him and the dark haired girl glaring at him across the room. That relationship had been a mistake. JJ had warned him and he knew it, but Porte had hit rock bottom and was still trying to dig further. Needless to say, it hadn't ended well.

"I–"

Esi held up her hands, and he saw when JJ flinched beside him.

"Can–can we just go?" she asked. He didn't even have time to observe her. There was something not right with how she was talking, but the urge to get her out of there was greater than any other feeling.

He put his arm around her and said goodbye to JJ.

As they made their way to the front doors, a hulking figure was suddenly blocking their path.

Porte flicked a cool gaze towards Trick.

Not here. Not today. He willed the man to understand him.

His arm tightened around Esi when Trick's eyes flicked to her, an unreadable expression crossed his face. Porte knew that Esi could sense the tension, and he felt the tightness in her body as she struggled to not turn towards him with concerned eyes.

Her anger from a moment ago was forgotten. He could never understand how quickly her mind justified things when it came to him. How easy it was for her to switch from anger or irritation to worry or concern–always when it came to him.

Why was it so easy for her to love him?

Porte almost missed the gesture, but he didn't.

After an awkward few seconds, Trick's head nodded surreptitiously, and Porte almost froze in confusion, but he didn't want to take any chances. So he nodded back and ushered Esi out the door.

When they made it to his car, he turned to her ready to offer any explanation, but she beat him to it.

"Before you say anything, I'm not upset..with you," Esi claimed. "But I did have to let Miss Violet know that you are not property to acquire. I didn't appreciate how she spoke about you."

Porte said nothing–he could say nothing as she spoke. Nothing but wonder why and how.

"You honestly need to make better dating choices," she teased.

He already had, he wanted to say.

"And don't think I didn't notice you and turtleneck guy–that's what she referred to Trick as–we will be talking about it," Esi sassed and opened her mouth to continue, but he couldn't resist the urge to kiss her.

Kiss her with everything he had in that moment. He kissed her until he couldn't breathe. Kissed her deeply to distract her from the urgency of his kiss.

He kissed her like he knew that time was running out because deep within, it felt so.

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A/N

Not sure why this chapter came out. Also, what kind of underground sketchy mess are these men involved in? That's a story for another time.

I know it's been a month, is anyone still out there?

Hoping to tighten up the updates from here.

Xx