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An Inherited Dream

Lynn's POV

Have you ever felt like your in an enormous chess game and some creepy people are watching closely and waiting for you to make the move? That's what I feel like right now. It's just that so many things are going on and I'm not ready for neither of them. My mind isn't really ready to accept anything other than what I have now. Having friends, having a boyfriend, having someone that's waiting for you to come home and having someone to constantly watch over you.It was all these little things that my mind already got accustomed to and doesn't want to let go even if it's already checkmate. People say happiness is worth dying for. But is it really? If you were given the choice between truth and happiness what would you do? Would you be okay living a lie for the rest of your life even though that lie makes you happy? Is that really what I want to do? I groaned in frustration and continued staring at the ceiling of my room, hoping the answers to my various questions would just pop out of the ceiling. Why was I thinking all these things? Well its's because of the diary. Maybe it's not just about my mom's diary, but something much bigger. Way bigger than me. It's just that... I'm scared that I'm going to find out much more than I bargained for and my entire world is flipped around. My mind can't take another shift between normal and abnormal. I guess I'm somewhere in between.I flipped over on my stomach and reached for my phone. No messages and no missed calls as usual. Maybe I'm just waiting for Killua to call? Nah. Am I really that used to it? I sighed and went through my contact lists and my finger stayed over to Jienna's name. I guess it wouldn't hurt to text her.

Me: Hey Dude

I stared at the text message and didn't really wait long

Jienna: Hey. So much was going on that I totally forgot to tell you

Me: Tell me what?

Jienna: I left home for a while. can't talk like this. Wanna meet up in that park next to Gon's place?"

Me: Sounds good

XXX

"Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?'

"Yes I'm sure. Why do you guys keep asking me that?'

We were currently seated in a park bench shivering slightly when the cold breeze tickles our skin. Jienna just filled me in on what happened that day with her dad and why she's freeloading in Gon's place. It was messed up. I couldn't disagree just because I had it worse. It was disheartening to see that people just couldn't be happy with what they have. It makes me jealous and angry. I would do anything to be in their place. I would because I threw away everything I had and made my life miserable. That was all on me. I didn't cherish what I had enough. So why can't the people around me be better than me? Make do with what they have before they are taken away from you and then you have a shit load of regrets weighing you down.
"I hear you. And I get why you're pissed off" when I gave her a surprised look, she giggled slightly and said "You were talking out loud idiot" I looked down at the floor and avoided her gaze. "It's fine. You were just being honest about your feelings and I think that's better than to try and hide what you really think and utter sweet lies to make the person feel better. Cause that's just not how reality works." She leaned back on the bench and watched the  orange and red colours replace the brilliant blue from the afternoon. "Maybe I really don't understand what your going through. I really have no idea which is better, having or not having at all. But I do know one thing and that is that it doesn't matter anymore. You might think that maybe I'm throwing away something. But you can't throw away the things you never had in the first place. My family.... was just a portrait. Just a piece of decoration to show of. A distant memory that can no longer be reached" A lone tear slid down her cheek and that sorta made me turn away. "But You can still reach it if you want to" She looked at me with a shocked face and I brought myself to meet her eyes. "You still have a family right? Even though it didn't feel that way you can always change that before it's too late" I looked at the stars that had appeared like small diamonds in the sky.