Façade

Start anew

"Lynn"
I heard my name echoing. Who was calling out to me? I looked ahead and all I saw was darkness. My name echoed through the darkness and fell on my ears making me feel a little agitated and anxious. Who was calling out to me?
"Lynn. Come here"
I looked around again seeing nothing other than darkness. My eyes stung with tears. I hate the dark. Why am I alone? Panic took over my entire body and I started running through the dark, my blue hair sticking to my back as sweat started forming in small droplets and running down my back and forehead. I didn't stop running. My name echoed in my ears. I frantically looked around and repeatedly saw only darkness. I clenched my eyes shut and continues running, tears streaming down my sweaty cheeks. "Mommy!!!" I screamed my throat dry and hoarse. I tripped and fell to the ground. I propped up my elbows wishing to get up, but I couldn't. I was too weak. Tears continued to stream down my face as the darkness closed in on me. I curled into a ball and blocked my ears as my name kept echoing, this time much louder. I clenched my eyes shut. Mommy. Daddy. Why did u leave me alone in the dark?

I sat up on the bed and clenched my fists on the sheets, a silent scream tearing through my throat. My blue hair stuck to clung to my body drenched with sweat. I looked around the room frantically and flipped the light switch. The room was immediately flooded with a bright yellow light. I sat on the bed slowly collecting my thoughts. I looked around my small single bedroom apartment. It was nothing too extravagant. Just a simple apartment with a living room connected kitchen and a bedroom. I slowly got up from the bed and threw open the windows. It was still dark outside. Out of the corner of my eye I glanced and saw my digital clock. 4:34. Just my luck. I pressed my forehead against the cool wall, relaxing my sleep deprived body and shut my eyes hoping to give it a small break from my constant nightmares.

The sunlight poured in through the open windows of the small room. I got up from the floor stretching out my sore muscles. I looked at the sun. This is the day that I would start living my life. At least try putting back my broken pieces together to form a clear picture. Not a pitiful mess. I walked over to the mirror my reflection. I saw a girl in her late teens with pale skin and long dull blue hair and blue eyes. She wore a white tank top and some black shorts. I really looked like a mess. I sighed and attempted to flash a small smile. It was hard. It was difficult to smile if there was nothing but self loathing and bitterness in your heart. "Start small. Pick up and join the broken pieces one by one." That's what my therapist said. I'm too broken. I don't think I can pick up the broken pieces anymore. I shook my head at a futile attempt to wipe all my negative thoughts. I went to the bathroom and took a nice hot shower, attempting to forget about my past and start a new. If only life were that easy. I went to my bedroom with a towel wrapped around myself and took in the uniform spread out on the bed. It's going to be fine. I kept repeating that statement over and over again in my head. I quickly changed into the uniform and opened my cupboard and pulled out a black wig. I pulled my blue hair into a tight bun and placed the wig on my head and looked in the mirror. I straightened a few strands of my fake hair before pinning it in place. I let out a forced smile at the mirror. I need to try. I'll live in a facade And when I'm ready I'll start putting small pieces of my original self together. Because for now Lynn Scarlet is the broken person on the inside. Yuka Fernandez ,the good goofy clown is the facade. I slipped on my shoes grabbed a piece of bread before running out of the house. The school uniform consisted of a dark navy blue mini skirt with a white button down shirt with full sleeves and a red tie that hung loosely around my neck. I jogged all the way to my new school, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the sudden physical activity. I slowed down when the school building was in sight, my heart thumping at the sight of so many people gathered at one place. Usually that was a bad sign for me, but now I'm Yuka Fernandez... I don't have anything to fear. I walked toward the school entrance and put on a bright fake smile. I promised them that I would try... And try I will.