Ever Since|l.h.|Completed|

Chapter 4

Authors Note:
I've been trying to edit this book for a while now and I've realized that some things were rushed. I've been slowly fixing them by using subtle changes so if something isn't right just comment it and I'll fix it. Also I'm sorry if this chapter is a little triggering. I'm bad at writing but please bear with me.
XOXO,
Sarah
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Sarah's POV:
"It's-" he was cut off by my phone ringing. I looked down to see the caller ID. Mom.
"I'm sorry I gotta take this. " I said getting up from the couch and leaving the room, entering the kitchen. 

"Hello?"

"Sarah, come home honey. It's your father. We need to talk. Please hurry. " she said ending the call crying.

"Bye....guys..I ....gotta...go...home. I'll see...you in the...morning. " I said as as I made my way to the door.

"Sarah wait," Luke said heading by the door.
"What happened?" Luke said concerned.

"Something with my father. I don't know yet but my mom called me in tears and now I'm really worried. " I said turning to leave but Luke grabbed my wrist.

"Ow!" I said at his touch.

"What did I do? I'm so sorry. " Luke said pulling me into a hug.
"I hope everything is okay. " Luke whispered in my ear.

"Me too. " I said pulling away abruptly and walking out the door.

"Tell me what happened tomorrow. " Luke yelled from the door way but I just kept walking not even bothering to look back. I reached my house and walked in to find my mother on the couch sobbing with tissues all around her.

"Sarah?" She asked sitting up a little. She held her arms open for me. So I went into them.

"What happened mom?" I asked as slow tears streamed down my face.

"Your father....Your father, he committed suicide. " she responded.

"What?" I said as it started to sink in.

"I'm sorry. " she said. But I just got up off the couch and went into my room.

I started playing music but it wasn't enough. I left my room and entered my bathroom locking the door behind me.

"I can't take it anymore! I don't wanna be here!" I screamed as loud as I could. "Why can't I be dead already?!" I screamed again even louder. I went through my drawers until I found what I was looking for. A blade. I took it in my hand and cried even harder before I hovered it over my wrist. I know that this isn't the answer. And I know I'll probably hate myself after but right now I feel like it's the only thing I can do to relieve this pain.

"I can't take it anymore. " I said quietly before I placed it on my wrist. I waited a little taking into consideration what I would be starting again. I listened to the music playing gently in the other room. It was Beautiful Day by U2. What a coincidence. I hummed slightly taking the razor away. Once the song changed I realized that as much as this will never be the answer, it'll have to do for now. I picked it back up but was stopped before I could actually do anything.

"Sarah?!"

"Go away. " I sobbed.

"Not until you open this door. Please trust me, this isn't worth it. No tears should be wasted on a coward. Your father took the easy way out. He could've received help but he did this. Don't be like him please don't do this. I know from past experience what it's like. But please don't do this. Please, Sarah. Please, open the stupid door. " he said his voice cracking at the end of the sentence. I opened the drawer and put the blade back in it before going to the door and resting my back against it. He's right. It's not worth it. You should listen to him, I thought to myself. As much as I wanted to open this door I also knew the humiliation I'll have to face. I just moved here, I can't let my neighbors know how messed up I am. I especially can't have Luke pity me. The last thing I need is someone to feel sorry for me.

I thought some more just until I could calm myself down. I stood up and walked over to the sink, splashing my face so it didn't look like I had been crying. I wiped it with a wash cloth and opened the door to reveal the blonde boy on the floor, his back to the door as he leaned up against it. The funny thing was , however, when I opened the door, he fell back. His head landing right at my feet. I began laughing and so did he.

"Thank god. " he said sitting up. I sat down next to him. We both looked at each other for a while.
"I was beginning to lose hope. I didn't think you were gonna open that damn door. " he laughed.
Then he stood up, and so did I. His strong arms wrapped around me.

"Thank you, Luke. " I said resting my head on his shoulder as he carried me to my bed. He sat down and I stayed tangled in his arms. Comfortably.

"I'm just glad your mom called me when she did. " he said.

"Me too," I sighed.
"Now I can get to know you. " I said looking up at him.

"Okay why don't we start here. Show me your wrists." As much I didn't want to do this again because of the embarrassment of knowing that I did this to myself. I'm no better then my father, always taking the easy way out, I thought to myself. "Please?" He asked again. I was hesitant but closed my eyes and showed them to him. He gasped before rubbing his fingers over them, counting them as he did so. There were six scars on my left wrist and ten on my right wrist.

"You don't deserve this. " he said before placing kisses over all of them. All 16 of them.

"Yes I do, I'm no better then my father. I do this instead of handling my problems like an adult. It's terrible. " I said taking them back and covering them. "Why do you care so much? I mean we only met like a day ago. " I said slightly laughing.

"Because although we may have just met, I like you. And I wanna be here for you. " he said as I blushed.

"I think I like you too. " I said. He leaned in closer and so did I. "But we did just meet yesterday, let's take it slow. " he nodded slightly but we didn't move from where we were. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Oh sorry. I just came to see how she was. " my mom said looking at Luke.

"She's good now. I came just in time. " Luke responded smiling.

"Good. Well I'll leave you two alone but, Sarah?" My mom asked.

"Yes?"

"Keep the door open. " she said before walking away.

"Yeah yeah," I mumbled to myself.
"Anyway," I said as I faced Luke.
"Back there. How do you know from past experience?" I asked.

"Well posting covers of yourself on YouTube for the whole world to see isn't exactly easy. You get tons of hate. And well the hate got to me and I started cutting. But don't worry I stopped because I realized it wasn't worth it." He said.

"Good I'm glad you realized that. " if only I could.

"Please stop cutting, for me, for your mom, for your family, for your dads sake. Please stop. " Luke said.

"I'll try. " I said leaning my head against his chest. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure. What movie?"

"Ummm how about The Fault In Our Stars?"

"Perfect. " he said. I turned on my tv and played the movie.
~
After it finished it was really late. 2:30 to be exact.

"I should go it's late. " Luke said standing up to leave.

"Wait. Please stay, I really need someone right now. I could use a cuddle. " I said sitting up. Luke looked back at me.

"Are you sure it's okay if I stay?" He asked.

"Yeah. My mom won't mind. Especially after what you just prevented. "

"Okay. I will. " he responded. I scooted over for him and he got under the covers.  I snuggled into his side as he put his arm around me.

"Sarah?" Luke said in the silence of the night.

"Yes, Luke?"

"I like you. "

"I like you too. " I said looking up at him, giggling slightly. I gently laid my head back on his chest.

"Goodnight, beautiful." He said kissing my forehead.

"Night. " I said as I drifted off to sleep.