A Pet for the Dragons

127.

ARIKA

I fell asleep after Radrox left. I didn't know why, but no matter how much I slept, I woke up even more tired. I wondered if it was the effect of being marked. I was still getting used to it.

My new glowing eyes creeped me out now and then whenever I caught my reflection in a mirror. Apart from this, there haven't been many changes. Well, that is, if you didn't count my increased sexual appetite.

I was starting to feel hornier, especially when one of the dragons was around. I couldn't stop thinking about climbing them like a tree, and I wanted to climb them like a tree more than ever, but it seemed like they were adamant about taking it slow, and this was starting to irk me to death.

Last night, Ivret pleased me, but he didn't give me exactly what I wanted, leaving me somewhat frustrated. This morning, I woke up to Radrox, only to spend most of the time talking to him before he had to leave abruptly.

This was starting to make me feel lonely and frustrated. I knew that my dragons were away, busy finding a way to get us out of here as soon as possible, but I still couldn't help but want to be around them even more and learn about them.

So far, Radrox was the first dragon I learned something about, but Ivret and Zorge were still a big mystery, even though they were more open than Radrox. All this was making me more frustrated.

I didn't know what it was, but there was a gnawing need that was slowly building inside me, and with each day that passed without me being able to fuck the dragons, the more the need grew until I was afraid it was going to devour me completely.

However, with that need, I strangely started to have nightmares about that incident with my sister. The image of one of her dead mates kept flashing in front of my eyes, and it would make me feel guiltier each time.

Did I really kill one of her mates? If so, she'd hate me fiercely for the rest of her life. I wouldn't be surprised if she were out there, hunting for me.

I didn't know what I was thinking that day. I never wished to kill anyone, but something took over me— my evilness that drove me to kill one of my sister's mates. The image of her holding the bloodied black wolf and crying was recurring in my dreams. It made me feel more and more terrible about myself.

I wish I could apologise. No. Apologising wouldn't fix anything. If I were at her place, I wouldn't rest until I had the head of the killer of my dragons resting on my fireplace. I shuddered. Even thinking about losing one of my dragons filled me with intense grief and possessiveness. This surprised me.

Even though our future was still somewhat bleak, I couldn't imagine spending it with the three dragons who had claimed me. This was even more surprising because I couldn't have imagined this a month ago.

Back then, I was so busy trying to find ways to con them and run away from the Gallow castle, but now I realise how stupid it was. Even though Radrox seemed to have made peace with it, I still felt guilty for blaming him for something he didn't do. Now that I knew what he went through, it made me feel shittier. I was already guilty for taking advantage of Ivret's innocence and Zorge's caring nature. They all deserved someone better than me, someone who could give something precious to them. But simultaneously, the thought of someone else being with them drove me mad. I wouldn't be able to stand it if they sought out someone else, even though they had every right to seek someone better than me.

I was nothing but a pirate who had looted and killed people all her life for gains that don't matter to me now. I didn't know how I lived without the guild burdening me until now.

Now that my conscience finally seemed to work, I felt unworthy of the dragons because of who I was. Come to think of it, I had nothing to offer the dragons except for sex for now, and that made me feel even more worthless. I was... worthless as I was. A whore, more or less. The realisation was a jarring one, but... I needed to face reality sooner or later.

I promised Ivret I'd try to be better and honest with them. To be honest with others, I needed to be honest with myself first. This was the first time in my life that I had to be honest with myself— to face the consequences of my actions. And it was so painful already, but... I was willing to bear this if I could redeem myself and make myself worthy of the dragon's love.

Maybe the dragons weren't mating with me because they found me unworthy... The thought was a disturbing one, but it made sense. So far, I had offered them nothing but trouble. Who would even want to be with someone like me? I was a selfish person.

I stirred from my sleep when I felt a presence beside me. My chain of thoughts broke, and whatever dream started to play at the back of my eyelids stopped as I became more awake.

When I finally opened my eyes, I found Zorge beside me, lying on his side with his head perched on one of his hands while he watched me pensively. I'd never seen such an intense, pensive look on Zorge's face.

"Good morning," I croaked to him. But judging from the light streaming through the curtains, the day was nearing noon. Zorge hummed and continued staring at me with the same intensity. "What is it?" I asked.

"You were having a nightmare," Zorge replied. "Tell me about it,"

"H-how did you know?" I asked, surprised. A confused look crossed Zorge's face before he closed his eyes. "I saw it in my head. I saw everything," He told me, and fear gripped my heart instantly.

"W-what?" I croaked, sitting up. "Get out of my head, you!" I hissed, feeling agitated. I'd done some pretty dark stuff and... and... I didn't want the dragons to know about it yet. I... I'd tell them when the time comes, but not now when we still had a lot of mending to do. I didn't want them to know how terrible of a person I was because I was afraid they'd leave me... and I didn't want them to leave me. I didn't know what I'd do with myself if they left me now.

Zorge's stare intensified as he stared at me. His eyes were darkening gradually, and a grave look took over his face. I'd never seen him like this, and it bothered me.

"We will not leave you," Zorge said as if reading my mind. "That should be the last of your worries, pet. You should be more worried about disobeying your master," He said, and in the next moment, he had me caged under his body. "After all, a pet that obeys their master is worthy of all the good things," Zorge purred.

"You bastard! Get out of my head!" I yelled at him, but judging from the heated look on his face, it was too late.

"Seems like it's time for today's lessons," Zorge growled.

~

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