A Twisted Life (sequel to Give Me Life, an O2L fanfic)

What If We Could Replace Memories?

THIS IS LITERALLY GOING TO BE DEEP BC IT JUST IS....I HAVE A FEELING

HAIDENS POV

Well, Trevor and Ryan 'calm down' and the house goes relatively quiet.

Ricky says they're ending  Monday..  That means in 4 days, Our2ndLife is going to be gone.  That is crazy.

Me and Jc go up to my room for a bit, mainly just to get away from everything. 

I walk over and turn my stereo on and out on 'I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love,' the first MCR album. 

"How are you feeling? How are you being so calm over this?"  I ask Jc as I sit on the floor.

"I'm terrified, if I'm honest.  And I'm trying to stay cool for Ricky and Kian.  But I'm terrified.  I don't know how it's going to go down.  I don't know when we're moving out.  Ricky already has most of his stuff packed.  Sam is flipping out.  He's so stressed.  You know how he is.  I'm afraid he's gonna try something once it's over.  I'm scared he's gonna turn to drugs or alcohol or you know.." Jc says shaking his head before leaning it down and putting it in his hands.

"And you.  I want you to be okay.  I mean, I was hoping you'd move in with me, but if you dont, I just want you to be safe." Jc adds, sneaking a look at me.

"Well of course I want to move it with you!  And I'll be okay.  I'll probably want to be alone for a bit after this, but I'll be okay." I reassure him.  He smiles and walks over to give me a hug.

"I love you, Haiden." He whispers in my ear.

"I love you too." I say back.

"Good." He whispers again.

"Why are you whispering, you weirdo?" I say, pulling back and giggling a bit.

"I don't know." He says, smiling.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"  I ask him, leading him to the bed

"Of course." He replies.

"What if we had the ability to replace memories?  Or even lose them?  Or create new ones to forget the old ones? Like what if something happened and you want to forget it but you can't because you don't have something good enough to replace it?  Or say if you do something over, it replaces the bad memory of it, even though it's the same thing?" I ask,  pausing a few times, realizing how absolutely crazy I sound.

"Like, take first kisses for example.  Say you had your first kiss, but it was bad, or it was forced and you wanted to forget.  Then, you meet someone new and you want to replace the memory of the other person kissing you by kissing the new person.  Like, you're not using them..  It's like they're helping you forget, fixing you, as it seems.  Or say you were raped and didn't like being touched, no matter who iot was or what type of advanced they make towards you.  But then, you meet someone you trust and you want to try again.  You trust them so you trust that they won't use you or do anything bad to you, so you try it with them.  And then, after, you realize, 'Hey, they really did fix me.  I'm not scared anymore.  They helped me.'" I say, getting a weird look from Jc.

"But its like you're using them." He says, clearly confused.

"Yes and no.  You love them and you know that they love you, so they're willing to help you forget, to fix you.  And that makes you love each other more.  The fact that they helped replace a bad memory." I say.

I know he isn't going to understand this.  No one really will, unless they think like me.  I know that.  I'm okay with that.  Well, sometimes.

But he just nods.  "I'm sorry that I don't completely understand what you're getting  at, but I understand, or at least comprehend to some extent of what you're saying.  And I think that it would be very cool if that's how our minds worked."

"Yeah.  It would be.  And we could store our memories.  From most important to least important or least thought about.  I don't know.  It's just something that's been on my mind for a bit."  I say,snuggling into his side.

"It's ok. You can always vent to me.  Even if I don't understand, I'll always try to help." He tells me.

I nod and we decide to go back downstairs.

Jake is standing outside my door.  Okay then.

"Jake?  Why are you out here?"  I ask.

"Oh, I just walked up here.  I was getting ready to ask if you wanted anything from Panera.  But you read 'A Splitting Of The Mind' didn't you?" He asks me.

"Yes.  And yes, that's why I'm fucked up about the memories." I say,blushing.

"That's how I was after I read it.  I took it all out on my sister." He tells me.

"And from what I heard by being up here not that long,  we think alike.  I understand what you were getting at." He tells me.  "I always thought I was weird because I think differently from others.  But now I see that you do too.  That's cool." He adds.

"Very cool.  Anyways, no I don't want anything.  But thanks." I say to Jake.

We continue walking down the stairs and Connor has his and Jake's bags all gathered.

"Hey, we are leaving soon.  Well, in five minutes, actually.  But it was really great seeing you again, all of you.  Keep in touch.  Jake! Come one babe!" Connor says

Jake appears by his side and they say one last  goodbye before loading the car.

I stand outside with Caylen and watch them drive off.

SO THAT GOT DEEP....I PUT MY THOUGHTS INTO IT THIS TIME...

Don't let the static get ya!

Toxic Fighter signing off,

Until next time, my friends