Okay, so this is a really serious thing for me to talk about.
I have this best friend, she's like a sister to me. I've know her since eighth grade and I really care about her.
Now there's a lot of things that go on in her life that just make her want to commit suicide and of course, I don't want her to die. She's a part of me and just a very special person in my life.
And we all know there are far too few people in this world you can really truly call your real best friend and she's one of them.
So time and time again I've tried and tried to talk her out of actually doing her best to end her life.
She cuts, purges and stuff like that. She's on all kinds of dangerous medicines that people have taken with other medicines and died from.
So earlier this month she overdosed and went into a deep sleep and barely woke up.
She almost died. And...I still have a hard time realizing it and I still cry every time I think about it.
And sometimes I just don't know what to say to her.
But I'm going to try my best to write what I want to say to her here.
Dear Best Friend,
There's a lot I want to say to you and I just don't know how to put it in words. I don't want you to die, I've never wanted you to. It hurts me so much that every day, you suffer to even live. I wish I do something to stop your cutting and purging and just being addicted to the medicines you have to take, but I can't. Only you can do that.
I really understand what's going on at home okay? It feels like the fighting is never going to end. It feels like everything is going to fall apart and you'll be in the middle, right?
I can probably tell you that's true. Life is cruel and the devil is out to take you to Hell.
But you have to be stronger than that! Stronger than the devil.
You'll go through these hardships time and time again because the devil wants you to fail. He wants you to die. But I believe you can do it.
The struggle will be worth it. In the end you'll finally get to the place you want to be.
You just have to believe.
You aren't lost, because I'm here with you. I'll help guide you back to reality to where I am. To where I can love and care for you again. So I can set your raging mind free and you can live a better life.
I believe I can help you. Through God, I believe that I can help you through your inner turmoil.
I'm here. I'm here to help you in any way possible. Once you get on the right track it won't be that hard. Life will get easier.
It honestly takes time.
A lot of time.
I know you've been through so so much, and the possibility of me waking up one day and finding out you're dead kicks at me every single day.
I don't want that to happen. I want you to know that.
Your beautiful girlfriend doesn't want that to happen. Your parents. Your nephews. Your brothers. Your friends. Your best friends. And me.
We are here to do whatever we can to help. So let us help and stop inflicting all this pain on yourself and your heart. Stop hurting yourself inside and out.
I don't want you to have to shed tears of pain and sadness. I don't want you to have to think you are going crazy. I'm sure all of the people noted don't either.
So I beg you, let us help. Open up to us because it makes it easier to help.
Just don't stay silent and slowly die. I just don't want to wake up and realize you're dead.
Please...We all love you. And can't stand to see the pain in your eyes and heart. We are here for you.
I love you,
Chelsey.
