Belle (GirlxGirl)(Third Book of The Master's Pet)

Chapter 43

2 months later

Belle

It's Valentine's Day. Everyone in the castle are happy and doing things with their mates. I'm just sitting out here on the western border looking out into the meadow and beyond. When I came to after Clair put me in a sleep my voice was completely gone. The worst thing about it is I can't even hear BB anymore. We are both trapped in our own minds with no way out. It's all been down hill since Jolene disappeared. I'm not whole without her next to me. I'm not really sure I know who I am anymore. I've lost everything. I've lost my will to get up, to go to school, and fight back. The only thing I have any will to do is cry out here.

Even when I faced Lord August in his prison cell, all I could do is cry. I've never been so weak and lonely. I took it all for granted and now she's gone. I know she still alive. She out west somewhere, that's all my heart tells me. Sometimes when we sit out here I feel my heart beat a bit faster. I guess that means she's thinking about me too. When that happens BB nudges me forward. She wants to go to her mate, and so do I. My Uncles and Aunts gave me each a little advice before they went back to their homes. The moral of all of them is to not give up. It gets harder each day to follow their advice.

I lay in bed most days. It gets so cold at night and during the day. Almost every night I've just cried into Jolene's pillow. There was a point where my crying left streak marks on my face. Sonya or David would come in and stay the night with me sometimes. When they didn't and I really depressed I would go to my parent's room. They would let me in immediately and just hold me as I cried. Most nights I've cried myself to sleep. That's all BB and I have been doing, but no one can understand what type of internal damage is going on. 

My own pack can't even fathom how I feel cause none of them can read my mind anymore. My parents don't know what to do. They've tried to make me feel better, but there has been no progress in finding Jolene. August won't talk no matter how much they beat and starve him. Mommy had Commander Boudicca fan out to find Jolene on her side of the country and further into Canada and Mexico. Still unsuccessful. I think I'm the one who truly knows where she is, but I'm not certain myself. All I know is I must hold her again. I must tell her how much I love her. I must mark her again, and this time nothing will happen... I can't really say that for certain, but I'll try my best to protect her. 

"I thought we would find you out here." I turn and see David and Sonya trotting up on their horses. It looks like school let out. Since I don't show up for school anymore they just bring me my homework. The teachers themselves bring me my test. As usual I pass them all with ease. I might not be there, but I still know what I'm doing. Math however is back to the way it was before. I know a little bit of it now thanks to Jolene.

"How long have you been out here? It's freezing." Sonya says as she puts a blanket around me. David sits next to me and I put my head on his shoulder.

"Since 10. That's when I started to feel her again." I sign to them. Sonya puts her head on my shoulder then sighs.

"You should get inside before you catch a cold." I shake my head.

"There are worse things. Just take me as an example... Shouldn't you two be with your mates?" David puts his arm around me.

"They may be our mates and we love them, but we love you too. That being said we will spend Valentine's Day with you." I smile up at him and he kisses my head. Sonya hugs me from the side.

"I really hate seeing you like this Belle." She sniffles, "I wish there was some way we could help more." I rub her head.

"There's nothing you can do." I sign, "It's all on me to fix this." I sigh then look out to the west again.