#2 Our City, Our Rules (A Chicago P.D./Chicago Fire Fanfiction)

Chapter 34 "What Brought Us Together"

More days passed, Sylvie and Kelly taking time off from work. A smile hasn't crossed either of their faces since the ultrasound appointment. They were hoping to get a picture so Ember could see, but they couldn't. To this day, they still haven't told her what's happened. At this point, they were unsure if they wanted to try for any more children. In the days that have passed, Sylvie has hardly spoken a word, falling into a deep depression. Kelly had suggested that maybe she go to a support group, but she refused. When she gets upset about something, she's the type that likes to keep things to herself. While Kelly was out to lunch with Katie, Sylvie sat alone in bed. A box labeled "Ruby" sat next to her. She hadn't touched that box since the day she found out she was having a girl. It has finally been decided that now was the time to look in it. Rummaging through it, she saw a few packages of newborn diapers, a package of wipes, an assortment of newborn clothes, a diaper bag and a pair of baby booties. She took the booties in her hands and could feel a lump forming in her throat.

"Mommy's so sorry she'll never get to meet you. Nothing will ever replace the hole in my heart. You'll always be my baby, even if I'll never get to hold you in my arms. I'll always love you and I'll always miss you. I hope you're keeping Sean, Julie, Amber and Chili company up there. Every day, I look at my stomach, I see the scar. I wish I could've felt you kick, that was the moment I was looking forward to the most. They were talking about creamating you, but I'm not so sure. I want you to be next to the four of them, but your daddy has other plans. I guess it's just his way of feeling close to you, and I don't blame him. I just need some time to think about it. I'm a little hesitant, but they said they would let me see you. I'm just afraid that seeing you will bring back the pain. But your daddy said it would give me closure, and I hope it does. They wouldn't let me see you before, but now they are. At least I'll get to hold you, even if it's just once."

She was startled by the slamming of the front door. She went out into the living to see who it was.

"Hey Kelly."

"Have you been crying?"

"No." She lied.

"It's okay to be sad. I'm sad too."

"It just...it doesn't seem real. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and have it all be a dream, you know?"

"I know. I feel the same way."

"I just don't feel right about this whole cremation thing, you know?"

"I always want her to be close to us."

"I do too. But, is this right?"

"People sometimes do this. We could keep them in a locket. You could have one, I could have one and we'll give one to Ember."

"It's all my fault she's dead."

"No, it's not. You need to stop saying that. You did nothing wrong."

"I took medicine that killed her! Of course it's my fault!"

"It's not your fault, it's your idiot doctor's fault."

"What can we do about him?!"

"If he purposely gave you this drug, knowing it couldn't be taken by pregnant women, we can get him on malpractice and we can get his license revoked."

"That won't bring her back."

"I know...but you'll get money for your pain and suffering."

"A few hundred thousand won't help. Why bother? I just...I can't. I'm..."

"Calm down and take a few deep breaths."

A few minutes later, there was a loud knocking on the door.