nebraskan lights | skammy (finished)

22 | sam

epilogue

It had been eleven months, almost a year, since I started dating Dillion and I couldn't be happier. But somehow Nate always slipped back into my mind.

Nate was has some of my "first's" in his front pocket still - taunting me with them. But somehow, Nate always seems to charm me.

I moved in with Dillion in downtown LA, more than thirty minutes away from my recording studio and "his" house. I can't even bring myself to say Nate's name these days.

Dillion works in a building downtown where he files paperwork for a big name company. He took me there once, I remember because there was a picture of us on his desk in his office.

I miss Nate and his gentle words and touches. I miss his tattoos and his warm eyes that told me everything would be okay if I just breathed.

+ +

He was staring at me in this moment, eyes crinkled at the movie we were watching. His eyes danced with happiness as his fingers found mine.

He was so happy. I silently thank God for letting me find this beautiful soul in the park that warm summer day.

He let out a laugh, it was a familiar sound I memorized over the months. The beautiful sound he made when I kissed his Adam's apple where he is ticklish or when I tell him some lame pick-up line I saw on the Internet.

I would do anything to make him laugh. If his laugh could be sold in stores, it would always be sold-out because it's contagious. It's beautiful and its HIM.

He looked at me and let his smile stretch against his cheeks, "hello."

I felt myself chuckle, "hello."

He settled back further into the couch. "You know I love you right?"

"Yeah," I breathed out, suddenly content. Every thought of him slipping out of my mind and into a black abyss of nothingness. "I love you too, a lot."

"I do, too." He nodded. "It's okay if you don't love me though."

I sighed as I let him cuddle into my side instead of the couch. "Don't be silly."

"I'm not." He replied shortly. "It's okay, I know he had you first."

"Just because someone 'had' me first doesn't lessen my love for someone I truly care about a lot." I whispered, my fingers gripping his hair slightly. "Sometimes you got to forget about some people who caused you pain by their recklessness."

"What was he like?" He asked, eyebrows knitting together.

"Who?" I asked, looking down at him in confusion.

"Nate?" Dillion breathed, finally. "What was Nate like?"

I had to catch my breath as I looked at Dillion. "Nate was... different than others."

Dillion stayed quiet but nodded against my shoulder acknowledging me he was listening.

"Like I said before, reckless. Didn't use his brain quite like he should've. Annoying at times, honestly. He was rude to others and always cu-"

"No," he touched my arm, grabbing my attention. "Not the bitter ex version of him. I want who Nate truly was."

I breathed out a steady breath of air I didn't know I was holding. "The truth?"

"The truth."

"Nate was...the most amazing person you could ever have in your life. He was always gentle with his touches. Always putting my happiness before his own. He made sure I was... loved."

"He sounds amazing." Dillion agreed. "I see why you love him."

"Loved him." I corrected him. "I loved him. As in past tense. I love you, now."

"Tell me more about him."

"His tattoos were some of my favorite stories of his."

Dillion titled his head at this.

"Every tattoo he told me a story about it. He had this stunning one on his hand, a semicolon. He said it was to raise awareness for mental illnesses. I thought it was such a strong story. It stuck with me for a while."

"That's... amazing." Dillion breathed out, eyes sparkling. "What other stories did he tell?"

"He told me these amazing stories or poems, I never figured them out completely. He told me they were about me but I am sure they weren't."

"What was your favorite?"

"It was one night where the stars were burning so bright in the sky. It was one where he was high, but that's not the point."

Dillion nodded, still listening.

"He called me his Nebraskan lights. And I didn't understand then, but you know what? I think now I do."

Maybe one day I will return to the lights, then again maybe I won't. I just pray to God that Nate finds happiness in this world.

+ +

AUTHORS NOTE:

this story is finally done. omg u guys probably never saw this coming.

the whole "Nebraskan lights" the thing I was aiming for was how Nebraska needed it's lights at night for people to see. for people to survive.

nate's so called "nebraska lights" was sam, but sam's was dillion in the end.

ok pls comment how u feel.

and for the last time, i love u. goodbye!!!

and what do u all think of a SEQUEL!!!?????
:-)))))