Addicted {bxb}

XXXVI

"You weren't the first to "assault" me, Justin."

"I'm... I'm confused," Justin said, his face showing clear confusion.

"My freshman year... Erica's friends did something way worse than you did."

I dropped my head to my lap, thinking back to the events that happened while trying not to cry about it again.

"Adrian you-"

"No," I said, cutting him off. "I need to talk to you about this because if I don't then it's going to eat me up inside." I shook my head. "I don't want to keep holding onto this."

Justin nodded understanding where I was coming from and finally I was able to continue.

"My freshman year Scott, someone I wouldn't really say was my friend at the time, invited me to my first college party. There was alcohol of course, I may have taken I don't know... five shots. It was like this game with different colored cups that each had a meaning. Pink represented "taken", green was "complicated", and yellow was "single". Scott was trying to get me to play along but he said to fill my cup up with water."

My voice shook the more I talked and couldn't stop the images from forming in my head.

"Conner," I carried on. "He's one of Erica's friends. I was closer to him than I was to Scott so at that time I felt safe with him. I felt like I could trust him in that crowd but he was the one that convinced me to drink. And kept drinking until I was completely out of my mind."

Looking into Justin's eyes I could see an expression almost like a feeling that he couldn't believe what I was telling him. But I didn't let his look stop me.

"I asked Conner if we could step outside so I could get fresh air but when he dragged me down a hallway and into a bedroom... I knew that something was going to happen to me."

"Isn't this Erica's little brother?"

"Erica's little brother," I said. "That's something that Danny would call me. They were talking to one another going back and forth, making the whole thing a joke. Lukas, their final friend, started rubbing on my back, Danny was complimenting me, and... and Conner started recording."

"What!?" Justin exclaimed.

"I remember feeling hot so they told me to take off my clothes and I did," I said. "Then... Danny took the phone. I don't remember a lot that happened after that but I know they didn't go all the way with whatever they were trying to do."

"So they stopped?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Danny stopped them but... I remember Conner saying the whole thing was his idea."

"Adrian I-"

"Danny was supposed to be Erica's best friend. Both of our best friends but to know that he wanted to do something so low to hurt me and traumatize me. Then not apologize for it?" I shook my head and wiped my tears. "It hurts, Justin."

"Does Erica know?"

"No, I couldn't tell her because she wouldn't believe me. Just like she didn't believe me when I told her about what..." I couldn't finish that sentence but I didn't want to compare those two situations in the same category. "That's why I blamed her for ruining my life. She didn't notice that her own brother was broken and humiliated by her own friends. She didn't care to ask because she thinks all I want is-"

"Attention," Justin finished for me.

I could see that he was annoyed because of the whole thing and I was sure that he was starting to despise Erica. So when he shook his head and let out a heavy breath I knew he was irritated.