Addicted {bxb}

XLII

"I... I want to come back to New York," I said, holding back my tears as much as I could.

"What happened?"

"Too much," I said, shaking my head not wanting to talk about everything that went down. "Way too much between Erica and Justin. I... I don't want to deal with any of this anymore. I... I just want-"

"Okay okay. Just breathe Adrian," she said softly, trying to calm me down. "Just breathe okay."

I took a few deep breaths slowly calming myself down before I spoke again. "I don't want to be here anymore," I said softly. "I don't want to be in San Diego anymore. I don't know why I came back thinking anything was going to be different between this family."

"I know, Adrian but-"

"Adrian!"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Justin making his way to me. I cleaned my face from the tears that had dried up on my skin before pulling my phone away from ear once Justin was close enough to me.

He shook his head and stopped a few feet away from me. "She finally admitted to it," he said.

I nodded my head because I didn't know what to say to that. Seriously, what did he expect me to say to that?

"Adrian-"

"Why have you been ignoring my text?" I decided to ask because we were finally alone.

"I've been busy?" he replied which could be true but that wasn't a good enough answer for me.

"But you saw them?"

He let out a breath and nodded his head. "Yeah."

"So?"

"Adrian I don't know what you want me to say," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I want you to tell me what you meant that night when you were at my house, Justin," I said firmly.

He dropped his head, breaking eye contact with me. I took a step closer to him and said his name which caused him to look up at me again. Staring into his eyes brought me back to that moment he said something that made me question everything.

"It's just sex right!?"

"Not with you!"

"Why did you say that?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do," I said, trying not to snap at him. I was tired of yelling and going back and forth with people tonight. I just wanted answers and I wanted people to be honest with me.

"No Adrian, I really don't know," he said. "At that moment, I don't know what I was thinking when I said that but... I can't bring myself to be that close to you without thinking about what I've done to you."

"I've moved past that night, Justin," I said. "I don't see that guy in you anymore."

"But that's the thing." He paused and shook his head. "You shouldn't have seen that guy in me in the first place."

~Three Months Later~

New York in the summer always had a way of getting to me the moment I stepped out of the cab, the heat hit me. It rose from the pavement, drifted between the buildings and settled on my skin, reminding me that the city never really cooled down.

I remember the summer mornings when the light came in early, slipping through the blinds and bouncing off the glass towers. I would usually grab an iced coffee from the corner shop, grinning at the guy who's been handing me the same drink the past years that I've been here.