I'm Sorry (Gabriel Conte)

Chapter 30

Lily's POV

Why does everything happen to me? I mean I'm a good person. But then again, I'm not a good person.

I slid the blades along all the spots I cut yesterday and took a deep breath.

You deserve to do this.

I slid the blade one last time, and decided to clean up. I put bandages on the ones in my arms and legs, and then gauze and medical tape on my hips and stomach.

I stood up and walked out of the bathroom.

I looked at my phone and saw my wallpaper.

The picture Gabe and I took when we went on that date to the lake.

I smiled and then set my phone down.

It's been two days. I just can't get over the fact that Gabe and I are done. I hope we're not done for good.

Should I call him?

I grabbed my phone, unlocked it, and open my contacts and found Gabe's.

No don't call him. He's happier without you.

But he might be missing you.

No one can miss an ugly suicidal bitch.

But he needs to know I'm okay

I threw my phone on the bed and tugged at my hair. No one was here so luckily I could scream as loud as I wanted.

"WHY IS LIFE SO FUCKING CONFUSING?"

I sat down on my bed before letting tears fall.

See, this is why no one lies you. Your life is confusing. No one wants a confusing relationship.

I then felt my stomach grumble.

You don't deserve to eat

I ignored it and just sighed. I then looked over and saw my guitar.

I grabbed it and played a few chords. I didn't sing, I just played.

While I was playing, my phone went off. It was a YouTube notification.

Gabriel Conte had uploaded a new video!

I clicked on it and the video came up.

The video didn't even have a name. It was just blank. When the video played, I saw Gabe sitting on his couch and he put on a fake smile.

"Hey what's up you guys. So today is gonna be a more serious thing. So no games to Q&A. Just talking about something that happened."

"So I know a few, or a lot, if you know that I have a girlfriend. It I had a girlfriend. We got into an argument a few days ago."

"I lied to her and then I did something I really regret. I said that we should take a break."

"When she asked me if it was what I wanted, I was just in so much shock, that I couldn't even talk or go after her."

"I haven't slept. It's hard waking up and not having her by my side. Every morning, I roll over expecting to see her, but then reality hits me."

"I really miss her. I made a stupid decision. Like really stupid."

"So just to clear things up, this isn't her fault so please don't send her hate. This is all my fault."

"But Lily, if you're watching this. I love you. And I really miss you. Everything I said in this video is true."