For Better or For Worse

In My Veins (Bonus Chapter)

(A/N: play background music throughout chapter ---> "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle. Please take note of the Bold, Italic, and Bold Italic carefully or else you might leave into confusion.)

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The sound of the wall clock was the only sound I was hearing. My eyes stare blankly on the white linen sheets on my legs. My mind has gone blank. No thoughts, no words, no feelings...no nothing.

Silence. How can silence get so loud? The silence is deafening.

The real question is...'Why am I still alive?'

The hospital door opened and a nurse was pushing a wheelchair with another nurse. Must be discharge time. Oh, hell. Not yet. Please...

I slowly sat up. I never experienced weakness this overwhelming in my entire life. My body is filled with bruises. And there was something inside me before...that is not there anymore.

What did I do to deserve this kind of punishment?

My own wedding turned into a disaster. Claire will pay for this one day.

The nurse helped me up while another got my IV.

I slowly stood up, ignoring my burning body. Throughout my whole stay here in the hospital, my bruises grew worse even the pain did.

I was supposed to be discharged a few days ago, but they always gave me something to calm me down. I was always screaming, shouting, weeping like I was having a fit, and my parents were scared. The doctor said that when I'm stable enough, then I get to go home.

Home. Define home.

It's hard to calm down, knowing that everything you had was taken away from you in a single day. Everything and I mean every single thing.

A day that made me think of a fairy tale come true, became a nightmare.

I said to myself that day that that was the day I can never forget, that I will always look back on that day, but things have changed greatly. How I want that day to never have happened anymore. If only I could erase it, or have prevented it from happening. No, I want everything to be erased.

That simple day. I wish I just slid and cracked my skull. I bet that the pain was less than now. Now, pain is everywhere. On my body, in my mind, in my very soul. Everything is crushed. I was a fool to give love a chance. It never did anything good to me. For years I let myself be mesmerized by someone, wherein I could do whatever I want.

I was cheated on the girl he loved before, I was fooled, I was blind...I wanted to forgive him, but I just couldn't.

I thought those things only happen in movies and stories I read, but why happen to me?

One of my nurses gave me something this morning just to be sure maybe that's why I'm not crying. I'd rather stay like this forever. In peace, calm, numb...like everything in the world didn't matter. That kind of feeling.

They helped me sit down on the wheelchair and my body relaxed. they wheeled me out and when we reached the nurse's station, I saw my parents signing my discharge papers. After signing, dad glanced at me and gave me a smile. Mom took over my chair and the three of us went inside the elevator.

When we got out, I heard the press and paparazzi outside the hospital, and for once in my life, I didn't care. I felt nothing.

We exited the hospital when the frenzy began. But it was different for me. Everything was in slow motion, their shouting were muffled voices, and everything was blurry. I could get used to this.