For Better or For Worse

Chapter 48---I Can See The Stars From America

Mia's P.O.V.

 

I got off stage and walked where Carson was seated. My hands were shaking, my knees were wobbly, good thing I got to sit down before I even did. I messed up. I shouldn't have sung 'Defying Gravity', or 'I'd Give My Life For You' instead, I sung a Celine Dion song!

 

"That was beautiful." Carson said. "It was perfect."

 

I want to thank him for his positivity, but who knows what was going on Marie-Dawn's head. "Thanks." I smiled.

 

He looks at my hand briefly, and clapses his on mine, making my nerves calm down. "Don't worry too much."

 

Hours later, we waited, and waited, and waited for the results that will be posted my Marie-Dawn herself. Carson and I were sitting on the floor, listening on his IPod. One ear bud on him, the other on me, but I wasn't paying attention to the songs. I was too nervous for the outcome of the hard work for more than a decade of my life.

 

What if I didn't get in?

 

What if I did?

 

Will I really stay here at New York?

 

Or will I go home?

 

My forehead touches my knees as I said a silent prayer. This was the most nervous I've been ever since doing five pregnancy tests years back. I didn't know if I would vomit or faint that moment.

 

I raised my head and leaned back on the cold wall with my eyes open. I look at Carson and he has a look that says, 'No-matter-what-you-were-still-amazing'. My eyes landed on the ring on my right ring finger. I twisted on it, and remembered when Carson first gave it to me, that whenever I got nervous, I would look at the ring and remember him. Cheesy as it sounds, it does the trick.

 

Someone in trousers passed by us holding a piece of paper. That was it. Carson and I actually flew to follow the man who was posting the paper on the cork board. We weren't the only ones, though. Every girl who had a callback, pushed through the crowd just hoping to see if their name was on the list.

 

I was doing my best to look for my name in the crowd.

 

Monique Hastings...

 

Monique Hastings...

 

Monique Hastings...

 

Monique Hastings...

 

Monique Hastings...

 

Monique Hastings...

 

...it wasn't on the list.

 

I wasn't on the list.

 

Some girls squealed as they saw their name on the list. Some were jumping. I was jealous. I just need to suck it up and realize that I don't have what it takes.