[Act IX]: [The Legend Of The Lone Wolf: Matthew's Story.]

29 4 0
                                    

{DËÄR DÏÄRŸ, WHÁT Á DĀŸ ÎTŚ BĘĘÑ}
----------------------------------------------
[Matthew's POV]
Props to you, if you know where that's from.
My name is Matthew Baker. Easily hated, easily forgotten, and easily misunderstood. But relatable? Let's see.

The Bronx doesn't get enough credit, so I'll just proudly represent here. I was born in The Bronx in August of 1999. Do I really count as a 90s baby? Well, I sure as hell listen to a lot of 90s and 80s music.

September 11th, 2001, my father was taken from me, before he had time to raise me into a better man. If he was here with me through the hell of a journey, maybe things would be easier. My fathers death affected my mother, and ever since then, she hasn't changed. She's been smoking and drinking, and I followed behind her with this. I'm an only child, which I figured I should be lucky about, but I'd love to have a little or big brother. But, my mothers been alone. Well, that was until maybe May 2005 when me and my stepdad got into a bit of an altercation. He told me that my mother never wanted me, and I should've been in the towers instead of my father. That lead to violence. I swung on him only a second after he said that to me, and my mother broke it up, siding with this drunk asshole.

That night, I ran away. I used a little bit of money to spend time with my uncle in Long Island. After a few months of bonding with my uncle, and him teaching me more about music, I got a call from my mother crying. She told me how much she missed me, and how wrong she was. The sound of my mother crying tears my soul apart. An important part of me dies inside, that'll never come back. Especially because I caused this. I came home in late July.

A good friend of mine that I met in summer camp told me that I should write poems. One night, I turned off all the lights as it was raining outside, and wrote a ton of poems. I went on YouTube and played really slow and sad piano beats in the background, and created art. I still have them, I wonder what I'll do with them. If I had the confidence to do anything with this that is.

My self esteem. Oh man. It's pretty much nonexistent. I can never look people face to face when I speak to them, and I talk incredibly low. Also, getting compliments feels weird and awkward as shit. I like it, but it's weird. Confusing, I know. In 2008, I believe, that same friend introduced me to marijuana after I told him about the stress I've been going through. Ever since that day, I've been hooked on it. It's gotten so bad that my mother doesn't care anymore, as long as I'm not smoking in her house.

In 2009, I began to get even more stressed out as I've witnessed heartbreak, and been left back, and now the jokes have begin. The thing that's amazing about me, is when you meet me, I'm probably a goofy, obnoxious guy who smells like weed all the time. But, no one knows deep down I'm hurt. I'm always known as the class clown who always came to high school high. My teachers believe all I did was come to school, and waste everyone's time and clown around for attention. But really, I'm just a lone wolf with a painted smile. I did want attention, but that's what I've always wanted. I need attention for some reason, and I hate that. But, I just get a good feeling by making others smile. It wasn't me trying to be cool, I just liked the attention. I like feeling liked. Outside of my jokes in the classroom, I didn't have friends. Not on some creepy shit though. It's just nice to make others happy, after no ones ever made me happy. I needed to use drugs to do it. But, at least before that, I did it by making others happy, right? That's a good thing, right? The stress..it got out of control, man. I wanted it gone.

That's what's so screwed up about the world, the ones with the brightest smiles have the darkest backgrounds. No one will ever be able to learn that because of the personality that overshadows what we feel on the inside. I hope my son or daughter doesn't follow in my footsteps.

I'm honestly not as bad as it seems, I just have my mind in an awful place. As I sit in my dark basement, thinking about how my life's gone so far, all I could think is:

Did I really live?

I didn't accomplish anything, I don't have any talents, what's my purpose being here?

I would say that I hope I could get my life together, but that isn't going to happen, let's be honest.

An explanation as to what's been going on with me? I feel as if Trevor's mind is going way too much into this Winter girl. She's cool, but man. Trevor is all over her, and it's irritating. He's doing literally everything she tells him to, and it bothers me a little.

Also, to be real, I get jealous easily. I don't want to lose my only friend to be honest. I never had a best friend before. I don't know if he considers me his best friend, but I know he's mine. I don't wanna' lose my best friend either honestly. It's an awful feeling that I've felt before, and I hope doesn't ever happen.

But, my mother told me something one day, after we argued about something. She told me that need to get rid of this "IDGAF Attitude" as she called it, and that I need to start caring what others think. It took a while, but I agree. I need to start listening to others. Maybe, what the worlds been trying to tell me is true. Maybe I should try to get my mind back in the correct place. My mission, is to stop smoking weed and skipping school. I'm setting goals for myself. I'm going to focus in class, and take advice from others. I tried being myself, but it isn't working because I can't handle and take care of myself. I will work on changing and becoming a positive, changed, sober man. It's time to put the blunt down, and open the books. It's time to get ready for the real world. I, Matthew Baker, am ready for the future.

. . .

Sike.
----------------------------------------------
ACT 9 COMPLETE. I decided to give you guys a better idea of who Matthew is. I didn't want it to seem like I forgot about him! :) I was on a long train ride so I said: "Why not do the next act now?"

What do you think about Matthew now?

Did this help you understand and connect with Matthew?

Would you like me to explain the ending of this chapter?

ACT X IS GOING TO BE AMAZING GUYS!

Thanks for reading! Prepare for 1NV4D3R$X 🔥🔥🙌🏽

Vote/Share/Comment. -K.T ☺️🌙

[1NVADERS]Where stories live. Discover now