[1NVADERS]

[Act XX]: [War Of Words]

I found myself sitting on the edge of my bed, with my head down. I was grabbing my hair, trying to stop myself from screaming at the top of my lungs. My mother walked in, and shut the door. She began to speak at a volume only me and her could hear.

"Why did you cut yourself, Trevor?" she said. Her voice was didn't as concerned, or worried, as it did angry, and demanding for an answer. I kept my head down, ignoring her question.

"Excuse me, I'm taking to you?" she said. Her voice got even louder this time. I looked at her for a second, and then put my head back down. I'm at a lost for words at a time like this.  I wish I could just disappear right now. The feeling got worse every single second.

"This is what you like doing?" She asked. "You like making me look bad or something?"

I can't believe it. Still, she's only thinking about herself. I should've known to be honest.

"You think this is cool?" My mother asked. "Is that it? Are you little friends doing it? Or, do you just want attention? Is that why you did this dumb shit? Which one is it Trevor?"

I didn't think she'd say that, but unfortunately, it doesn't surprise me. I was now thinking to myself if I should waste my breath attempting to explain something, knowing nothing will change.

"Answer me." She yelled. I now looked at up at her, still completely silent. I was disgusted  by her reaction.

"You realize that you can hurt yourself by doing that?" My mother said, as if that wasn't the point of me doing it. "You could've killed yourself. Are you fucking stupid? Keep following your little dumb ass friends and see-"

"My 'friends', wherever and whoever they are, are not the reason behind any of my actions, mother." I interrupted, in a very unapologetic tone. I watched as my mother's eyebrows raised and her eyes widened. I was expecting a violent reaction, but it was more of a call for me to keep going. I began to shake, more and more. "I never did things to please anyone. Everything I have done, was because Trevor Surefire wanted to. I don't like to please, or take order from anyone. So, I'm offended that you believe I'm dumb enough to think I did this for attention, or because my friends were doing it."

"I don't care about any of that." My mother said. Again, I was not surprised. "There are way better ways of handling situations than this. You should know that you're able to speak to me about anything. So, don't talk to me that way."

"It doesn't seem that way." I said. I've never been this open to her before, ever. "Every single time I finally get myself to tell you how I feel, you do what ever you can to make me not feel better. Excuse me- that's incorrect. There are times where you make me feel better, but when you do, all that happened was that you gave me hope that things would get better and that you'd have my back, rather than throwing everything back in my face. Whatever I've ever speak to you about that I've kept to myself at one point, you use it against me to win every argument we have, and nine out of ten times, what you bring up is irrelevant to what we are arguing about."

It seemed like she was going to say some thing but I began to speak again. "It could be about my grades, which is reflects the confusion I have in school. You'll find a way to bring up my depression, in a way that makes me believe everything I've told you, you thought was a lie. You have no clue how that makes me feel, mom. I'll never disrespect you, because you are my mother, but I have to correct you when you are wrong about something as serious as this."

My mother was silent. She was looking into my eyes, but wouldn't say a single word. I couldn't tell how she was feeling, and I was hoping she'd say something. I was convinced my heart was going to lunge out of my chest any minute now. I completely forgot it was Christmas Eve and that there were people downstairs.

"If you feel like I have disrespected you in any way, shape, or form, I sincerely apologize. I'm also sorry if I've embarrassed you in front of company, but you had to know eventually. Rather than speaking to me on the issues, you try to scare the image you want me to have into you. And that didn't work. I feel like I have not a single person to talk to, and I feel lost and trapped inside of a mind and body that I don't want. I'm at the point now where if someone pulled a gun up to my head, I'd say 'please' and 'thank you'.

The room was filled with silence for a good minute. My mother finally broke the silence.

"We'll speak more about this soon." She said, as her voice cracked in the middle of it. She left the room quickly before I got a chance to ask her why can't we address it now. I felt a pain in my chest as I heard my room door shut. I sighed, and cursed under my breath. When Santa leaves town, I hope he takes me with him, to be honest. I heard my cousins speaking in the living room, and then I heard my mothers voice join in. I can't tell if she's speaking about me or not, but I hope she isn't.

All I know is, tonight is going to have a really bad effect on me for a very long time. It doesn't take much to tell that I'm not prepared for it, either.
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That's it! What a very dramatic, and sad chapter! :( What do you think Trevor's mother will do next? What do you think will happen on Christmas? Do you think his mom will listen to him more? Let me know with comments!

Thank you for reading my story for the past 20 chapters! It may not be many people reading, but it really means a lot to me because I feel we're able to lower the number(if not end) of teenagers/adults suffering from depression, self harming, feeling lonely, and so on. Thank you so much for supporting this idea, I hope you stick around for my other stories because I am far from done. Enjoy your evening/morning.
-K.T