[1NVADERS]

[Act XV]: [Smile Breaker]

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[Previously]
My phone rang. I got up and looked at my phone. It was Winter. This is freaking me out in so many different ways. Hesitantly, I answer the phone.

"Winter?"

Once again, I heard crying on the other end.

"Trevor," she said. "He's gone."
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"He's gone." Winter said. "He killed himself last night."

Not too long ago, I just had a dream that I had spoke to Matthew. He was okay, everything was finally alright. Now, Winter is calling me with this news.

"I..." I said. I couldn't get out another word.

"Trevor?" Winter said. I stood there in silence. The shocking and depressing tone filled the room quickly. Winter kept repeating my name, her  voice breaking every time she said it. I found myself falling. But, I was standing completely still, but I felt like I was falling. I felt like I was on this endless, steep roller coaster, that keeps rocking and shaking. I never fall off the tracks, but it feels like it. My insides are being thrown around, and my mind is going all over the place. This roller coaster never stops. It keeps going down into an endless abyss, and I have to sit through it. I'm falling into a dark world, but still. I'm standing completely still. Only those with true anxiety would understand.

Finally, I let out a horrifying scream. I've never screamed so loud before in my entire life. I heard Winter's voice, but I couldn't make out what she was saying, because my emotions overshadowed everything she was saying. I threw my phone to the wall, and the charger went flying with it as well. My phone crashed into the wall, making a sound that pretty much let me know that it was useless now.

"Matthew.." I said. It was like I was trying to call him back. Today was going to put a permanent scar on my heart. One that will never heal, or fade away. I'm going to be stuck with an endless pain for the rest of my life. I dropped myself onto the floor, so I'm sitting right next to bed, as my sobbing increased in volume.  

Here I am, someone who was in a group of people that wanted to be a voice for teenagers, sitting on the floor, in the most vulnerable state I've ever been in, in my entire life.

What could I have done? What didn't I do?  And why?

This unbelievable feeling of horror was suffocating me. Maybe that's not what it was, maybe karma finally caught up with me. Karma isn't holding back at all either obviously. She's got me on the floor, choking the life out of me. The feeling of shock, horror, heartbreak, confusion, and guilt was piling down on me.

Trevor, you killed Matthew.
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[Winter POV]
"We're sorry. The person you dialed-"

I was so worried about Trevor. What was that? I heard something right before the line cut off. I pray that he's okay.

"Trevor, please, please, please be okay Trevor please be okay god please let him be okay Trevor please." I was mumbling to myself on this bus. These people are staring at me, wondering if something's wrong. No one makes a move of course. (Welcome to New York City.) Trevor's life may be in danger. Who knows what he's done in there. No one knows the feeling of having someone so important with you, get taken from away you. No one should have to deal with it either.