She's Just a Human | Transformers

76: What Comes With Change

Promised I would still update while I'm editing! So here it goes!

~Dream Catcher

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I'm not exactly getting used to everything. But I'm trying.
After what Ratchet and Sideswipe told me, it's been easier, at least. I'm the one who decides who I am. Even if I don't exactly look like I did before, it's still me. At least that's what I keep telling myself. And that's what they've told me too. That somehow, it's still me. I'm not sure I entirely believe it yet, but Jolt tells me it's a process.
There are still so many things I don't understand. So many questions I don't have the answers to. But, once more, Jolt keeps telling me to take it easy. Having faced the Autobots, and it turning out alright sure made everything easier. Having your family around you in times like this one certainly helps. Of course, almost all of them.
I still don't know where Optimus is. I get a feeling Ratchet has talked to him, some time ago I heard him speaking to himself, probably through his comm link. I didn't make out any words, but he seemed serious, and he isn't usually the one who speaks with anyone at NEST. When I saw that it made the pit in my stomach grow. What would Optimus say? I left them to go with the Decepticons and I return... looking like one.

I absentmindedly run my fingers through the insignia on my chest. That pointy symbol that has meant so much. Not in a particularly good way. It has meant fear, deceit, pain... death.

"Caelyn?"

"Huh?" My sight comes back into focus, and I turn my head to look at the blue Autobot medic staring at me.

"How are you feeling? With the stabiliser." Jolt asks.

"Oh. Better with than without it." I respond, optics going down towards the hexagonal piece on the right side of my chest, once more noticing the small hum that comes from it.

"I'm sorry I keep asking so much, but we need to monitor you closely to make sure everything's working properly." He adds. Behind him, Bumblebee shifts on his feet. The yellow bot refuses to leave my side when Jolt and Ratchet ask for another checkup. And I do not complain, on the contrary, it helps me remain calm.

"That's ok." I softly respond, and it's clear in my voice my mind isn't entirely here right now.
Jolt stares at me for a moment and sighs.

"Ok... I think it's time we explain that." He gestures with his head towards the insignia on my chest. I blink, and my mind is snapped back towards the present moment. Almost instinctively, I cover it up with my servo, as if that was going to make it go away. "Will you give us a moment?" Jolt turns to Bumblebee.

"No." I quickly say. "He can stay." I look at Bee, optics pleading that he stays with me. Even if this might be a difficult conversation or a complicated thing to hear, I want him to stay. I don't want to be far from him right now. I don't want to push him away, not again. Without hesitation, Bee steps forward and stands next to me as I sit on the berth where they've done all my checkups.

"Alright." Jolt nods. Then seems to take a deep breath, as if preparing himself. "First of all, I need you to understand that your father loved you very much, Cael. You weren't just a project or experiment to him. You were his kid." His optics don't move from mine. And I can't help but feel like he's seeing through me, as if he were seeing what I was thinking and feeling. Because I can't lie, that's a thought I've actually had. If what I've dreamt is true, that means I had transformed before, when I was a kid, and threatened them, my parents. Something was wrong with me it seems. And in the end, I was an experiment, so how can you be family with just some... creation that threatens you and your wife. But Jolt looks at me with the most sincerity and confidence in his words. So for now, I believe him.