Dead Stars

June 17th - Naples, Italy

Leaving Hawaii and the Kalani family was pretty sad. We've grown pretty close to them and it was such a joy to be with them over the past few days. When they dropped us off at the airport, Lani was so upset she cried and begged us to take her with her.

You knelt down in front of her and smiled softly, "We would take you with us, but your parents need you here, okay? Take care of your little brother and we'll come back to visit soonest."

"Promise?" She held her little pinky up.

You smiled and wrapped hers with yours. "Promise."

With that, we headed off to our terminal waving our last goodbye to the Kalani family. It didn't take too long before we boarded our plane. Before we even took off, you were fast asleep.

Up next in out little adventure was Italy. When we were choosing which place in Italy to stay in, you chose Naples. You didn't want to go to Rome or Milan or any of the obvious places. You wanted to go to Naples.

It wasn't a bad choice. I mean, Naples is a good place to get pizza. I wasn't complaining.

You and I slept the entire plane ride, which is why we were so utterly confused when we landed. The first thing you said to me when we woke up was, "That was quick."

I chuckled sleepily and said, "We slept for sixteen hours straight."

We got off the plane, got our luggage, and went out to grab the taxi to take us to the place we were renting. Since we slept for sixteen hours, we were way too excited to just relax and stay at home.

Right after we dropped off our stuff, we headed straight out. There were so many places we wanted to see in Naples like The Secret Museum, the different churches and cathedrals, The Royal Palace, and the different castles. There were so many things we wanted to see, so we talked it over with some pizza.

I wanted to see the cathedrals while you, of course, wanted to see the museum. We ended up going with your decision since there were too many cathedrals and decided to do it sometime this week.

The first one we went to was the Naples National Archaeological Museum. It was absolutely beautiful. It was filled with those statues that were in your history books. You were really good with history and you were able to tell me most of the stories of the statues and their history.

After that, we ventured out to look at the Catacombs of San Gaudioso—An underground paleo-Christian burial site. In it were tombs from the 5th and 6th century. It was a lot creepier than the first museum, but just as interesting.

Unfortunately, we didn't have time to visit any other museum because even though we slept the entire 16 hours, we were exhausted. We headed back to our place to grab some dinner and rest up.

It only has been half a day in Naples, but I already know I am going to love it here. Even more so now because I'm sharing this experience with you.

-P

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June 24th

We've been here a week and you already found another girl to flirt around with. You came back to our apartment from your little drive around to get us some groceries with a new story.

You arrived with bags of groceries and the biggest smile on your face. "Peyton, you'll never guess what happened."

"What?" I asked excitedly, not knowing what you were going to tell me.

"I met this girl." You said and I literally felt my heart sink. Of course, you did. "I met this girl in the grocery down the road and I feel like she could be the one. That's why it took me quite a long time because I was just having the best conversation with her."

"That's nice." I lied.

"I'm actually going to drive back and have lunch with her, if it's okay?" You asked. You had those eyes full of hope and you were happy so, I had to say yes. Who was I to say no? I mean, I'm just your best friend. You're not mine to keep. "No, it's fine. Go!"

"Really?" You asked with the biggest smile.

I nodded my head, "No, go ahead! I was going to take a nap anyway."

"Thank you so much." You said kissing my forehead. As soon as your lips touch my forehead, I felt my heart sink even further down. I know you're not in love with her. You just met. Although, it does suck to see you find all these girls.

I know this was one of the reasons why you wanted to take the adventure. You wanted to find 'the one'. You were so sure she was somewhere out here and that you were destined to meet her. I knew what I was getting into when I said yes. I knew that at some point in this trip, I would get hurt. But I said yes to this, there was no way I could quit now. Besides, how can I say no to you?

What's frustrating and what pisses me off so much is how you're looking for girls who will love you the way you love them. To look for girls who care for you, who make you feel happy, who looks after you day in and day out, who you can share your 3AM thoughts with, someone who will dance with you at the middle of some museum, someone who loves every part of you with everything in them. You're looking for someone who loves you the way I do.

And it's fucking frustrating because I'm invisible to you. No matter what I feel for you, I will always just be your best friend. You go around looking for these girls who love you the way I do and I'm just here stupidly waiting around that one day I'm the one you look at and have the same look, the same spark in your eye— that maybe one day the stars you seem to follow will lead to me.

But then again, this is what I asked for. This is what I got myself into. And there's no one else around here to blame but me. And maybe the stars.

-P