Dead Stars

July 14th - Stockholm, Sweden

What's hilarious is we haven't been in Stockholm for ten minutes and you bump into this girl— Niki. She's from America, apparently, and she moved here. The entire time in the airport, you were with her talking about traveling and some other shit I didn't bother to listen to.

While waiting for our luggage, I heard you ask her, "Hey, since it's both our first time here, do you maybe want to go around with me?"

"I would love that." Niki answered with a smile, "What about Peyton?"

You and Niki turned to look at me. You had that look in your face where you wanted me to say that I don't mind you two going around. So, I said, "No, go ahead! I'm fine! There are other things I want to do anyway, don't worry about me."

"Are you sure?" Niki asked.

I forced a smile, "Positive. Have fun!"

Before you left, you hugged me and said, "Thank you, P! You're the best! And don't worry! We'll go around together tomorrow. I promise."

"Sure." I said, still forcing a smile. "Don't worry about it."

Before you left, Niki turned around. "Oh, Peyton? Are you sure it's okay if I leave my luggage at your place first?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah, it's fine."

"Okay! Be careful! There are valuables inside." She reminded me. I nodded my head again, "Noted."

I had to carry my luggage, your luggage, and Niki's luggage out of the airport into the cab and up to our apartment. Her bag, by the way, weighed so much more than our bags combined. I low-key wanted to burn it, but I didn't. And I won't.

After I got settled in, I grabbed my backpack, a map of Stockholm, and made way. I wasn't going to let you and Niki ruin my stay, so I decided I was going to go around with or without you.

The entire day I spent going around visiting the different museums, the palace, the city hall, the coin cabinet, and basically wander around the city. I didn't care where I would end up. It was exciting, actually. I mean, think of it... getting lost in a city where you've never been to before. Every corner you turn to could be a totally different place. For some reason that excited me. Luckily for me, I didn't wander off too far and still found my way back.

Although, it was exciting to go around by myself, it felt weird doing it without you. It felt lonely. There was no one to laugh with, no one to talk to, and no one to get lost with. It didn't matter though because you promised it will be our turn tomorrow.

I got back to our place and, still, you weren't home. I had dinner by myself and spent a few hours watching some TV. I don't remember falling asleep, but you woke me up when you got back. I checked the time and saw that it was two in the morning. "Where were you?"

"I was with Niki. We went to this restaurant and we just got lost conversing with each other. We lost track of time. Also, we got lost on our way back." You answered, "Oh, and Niki is using the bathroom real quick."

"Oh." I said, "Okay."

She came out a few seconds later and smiled at me. "Hi, Peyton!"

"Hi." I smiled sleepily, "How was your little trip?"

"It was really good." Niki smiled. I watched as you wrapped your arm around her waist. "I had so much fun. I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I asked turning to you.

"Yeah, we weren't able to go to all the places we wanted to today, so we decided to continue our little escapade tomorrow. Is that okay?" You asked me.

Truth is: I wanted to say no. I wanted to say no with every atom, every molecule, and every cell in me. But I can never say no to you because I love you so much that all I really want is to see you happy even if it meant sacrificing time with you. And from the looks of it, you seemed happy spending time with Niki.

"That's fine." I said softly, "I did a little sight-seeing myself today, actually, so I'm good. Besides, I just really want to sleep in, anyway."

I looked at you and you mouthed, 'Thank you"

"Okay, I think I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight." I said leaving the room and heading to my room down the hall.

"Goodnight Peyton!" Niki smiled sweetly.

"Goodnight P." You said.

I turned around one last to wave goodnight before shutting the door behind me.

-P