Dead Stars

January 17 - Two Years Later

Dearest Peyton,

It's your wedding day and I couldn't be happier for you. You're going to embark on a new journey with a man you love.

As I sit here and reminisce on our journey of friendship and all that we've been through together, I am reminded about how important and how much you mean to me. We've been through so much together- so many ups, so many downs. All those memories will be treasure until the day I die.

I hope you have the future you've always wanted and I hope you have the family you've always dreamed of having. I hope you tell them about our adventures. Tell them about how we followed our dreams and traveled the world, the little in betweens, our triumphs, our failures, the good moments, the bad ones. Tell them how, even just for a little bit, we conquered the world.

I want you to know that, today, I will stand by you and watch you as you venture into this new stage in your life and I will stand by you even after that. I will always be here for you, P. Always.

By the time you've read this, your wedding will be over and I would have left to go back to Ireland. Before I go, I'm giving you back this journal. I hope you don't mind that I've written in it. It's full of our adventures so you never forget. I hope you never forget.

I can still feel you and the words that make up our story. It's all in this journal. It's in these pages, it's engraved in each word. This journal is our place outside of the physical world. I love you so much, but I can't keep this journal anymore. As much as I want to, I have to let you go.

And if you were wondering, it still does hurt to see you with him, but seeing the smile on your face makes it all okay. I know you're happy where you are now and I'm happy that you found it. I really am, Peyton.

Oh and I've been reading some poems from Lang Leav. You were right when you said she writes beautifully. I found one poem from her that reminded me of you. It read,

I was ready to give it all up - everything I was half out of my mind with love. And I didn't think twice about what I was throwing into the fire, as long as I could keep it burning just for another minute-if only I was allowed to sit awhile longer and let its pale glow.

That was how I loved you in the end. With my body cold and shuddering. With empty hands over smouldering ash, counting out the minutes.

Being loved by you and loving you was my greatest adventure yet. Now I have to find a new one.

And to Calvin,

I know above all things that you love her. I also do know that she loves you and that she has given all of her to you, but here's some things you need to know about Peyton before you marry her.

She's afraid of the dark. She will never admit it, but she is. While you're walking to turn the lights off, her eyes are already shut and she starts praying and hoping that nothing will grab her while she's asleep. So, buy a night-light. That way, she's never afraid again.

She loves sweets. She has the biggest sweet tooth ever known to man and she can eat chocolate bar after chocolate bar, cookie after cookie, and ice cream scoop after ice cream scoop. Remind her that diabetes is a thing and that she needs to cut down on the sweets. Although, she does make the best cookies in the world, but you would know that. 

Her mind is a marathon. If it's late at night or like three in the morning and she wants to talk to you about whatever is on her mind, let her. No matter how exhausted or sleepy you are, fight it because she'll let you in her secret little world where her mind runs to often.

She has her days. One day, she can be the most confident person in the world, but there are days when you have to reassure her of every little thing and make her feel loved, especially on days like this. Love her though the good and the bad - always. There, too, are days when she's just quiet and she doesn't want to be bothered. Let her be. Give her space, but let her know that you're just there whenever she's ready.

She will love you with everything in her. She will love you like no one else ever has. Trust me, I've been there. Don't make the same mistake I did. Please do the same for her - love her with everything in her, like you've never loved another. And never let her go.

Take good care of her, Calvin. You won't find a star like her in this world.

Love always,

Niall.

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The end.

Read 'Thank You's' to find out more about Dead Stars sequel.