Dead Stars

September 26th - New York City, U.S.A (Part 2)

I don't remember much after the news I just heard from you, but I do remember sitting down in your dining table with Calvin, catching up, and talking. As you both talked about your jobs, I could hear your voice in my head over and over again like a broken record in my head. 

After a talking and having some coffee, Calvin had a call to go back to the office to fix some papers. You stayed behind and told Calvin you wanted to catch up with me. As soon as he left, you grabbed your coat, and we headed out.

We didn't go anywhere specific, we just walked around in the streets until we ended up in Central Park. We found a spot on the grass and took our seats there.

You smiled at me and said, "How have you been, Niall?"

"I've been better." I said with a smile, "But I'm okay. What about you?"

"That's good." You said with a smile, "Me? I'm happy and I feel good."

"I'm happy for you, by the way. Congratulations on the engagement. I'm so happy for the both of you." I said, which is true by the way. I was happy for you, but I was also broken. Really broken.

"Thank you so much." You said with the biggest smile on your face, "I can't believe I'm finally getting married."

"My best friend finally getting married." I said then scrunched my nose, "Sounds a bit crazy to me."

You chuckled, "It does, doesn't it? Freaks me out a bit sometimes, but for the most part, I am quite excited."

"I'm excited for you." I lied.

You blushed a bit then waved me off. "Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about you. Did you come from Paris? How's Patrice? Did you push through with the wedding?"

I nodded my head slowly, "We did get married."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but we split a few months ago."

You frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that."

I shrugged, "Its fine." I turned to look at you and said, "You were right though. She didn't love me."

You smiled sadly and held my hand. I shrugged and said, "Let's talk about something else, yes? How did you and Calvin get together?"

"Oh." You said with a smile, "Calvin. Uhmm... when I left Paris, I contemplated on going home but then I wasn't sure what my parents would say, so I headed to New York. I went to Calvin, he kept his promise with a job in PREVIEW if I came back, and then we just fell in love. And here we are."

You held up your finger and showed me the ring. I looked up at you and smiled, "It's beautiful."

We spent the rest of the night talking about different things. You wedding, Calvin, work, the things we did, and basically just making up for lost time.

After a few hours, I dropped you off at your apartment and I headed back to my hotel room. I took a shower, got changed, and sat in my bed. My mind was filled with regrets.

I could write all of them down, my thoughts, my feelings, but I can't bring myself to write about it. It hurt too much. But here's what I do have to say to get things out of my chest:

There's a saying that goes, "You never really know what you have until it walks away."

I had you - the girl that loved and cared for me with every inch, every fiber of her being, the girl that always put me first, and the girl that showed me the world. I had you, Peyton, but I let you slip away.

And now it's too late.

-N