Look What You've Done

Chapter 26

DREW.

I sat in this gay ass meeting that we have to attend. Everyone in here is seriously fucked up. I ain't never meet so many people with this much fucked up shit going with their lives. The people in here make me seem like a saint. I know the shit I do is horrible but, damn. I hated this place and I've only been here for two weeks. I still can't receive any visitors and I miss my kids like crazy. I will admit the first couple days was a struggle. Every once and a while I still have moments where I want to use. Shit I need hit after the shit you see in here.

"Mr. Carter do you feel like sharing?" Rochelle asked. She is one of the councilors here. I swear her ass mad annoying.

"I'm straight."

"I think it would be beneficial,"

"I'm straight damn."

"Alright well that concludes tonight secession you may leave." I got up out my chair to leave but, I felt someone tap my shoulder. "May I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sup?"

"Mr. Carter it has been two weeks and you haven't once interacted or done any of the activities with the others. If we don't see any improvements we are going to have to prolong your stay."

"Fuck this, I don't even want to be here."

"I understand that. I just think that if you do something productive you will find that your time goes by faster."

"Man whatever."

"One more thing your personal secession is tomorrow." I nodded my head and walked into the living space that I share with this other guy. We never talk unless it's necessary, he respects me and vice versa so we don't have any problems. I wrote in my journal that they make you keep. I learned that I'm very good at writing. When you first come to this program they ask you to choose between a camera, notebook or a sketching pad. I knew my I couldn't draw for shit so I decided to go with the notebook. As I was writing my roommate came in.

"I'm going down to the hall you want anything?" I shook my head turning back to my writing. When I finished I closed it and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up to the alarm that goes throughout the PA system. I got up and took care of my hygiene then walked to the psych's office.

"Hello Mr. Carter." Ms. Rochelle said while reaching out her hand. I nodded my head and sat in one of the chairs. "Well let's begin your secession shall we. Is there anything you want to talk about before we begin?"

"No."

"Have you been writing?" I nodded my head. "What have you been writing about?"

"If you don't mind I rather not say."

"That's fine. Do you want to talk about your childhood?"

"Let's cut the shit ok. I know you honestly don't give a fuck about me and I really don't want to be here so can I go home?"

"That's not how this works Mr. Carter," I threw one of the chair across the room. She is really pissing me off. "Please control yourself or I will call assistance."

"This self-evaluation mind control shit is not going to work. I'm not crazy, I don't even think I deserve to be here. I'm perfectly normal the only thing that's wrong with me is that I'm going crazy just sitting in this hell hole."

"Whether you realize it or not you have serious issues. One being your anger and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Now I've tried to be nice but, it looks like you only respond to ignorance. If you want to fuck your life up go ahead but, I promise those kids that look up to you are going to look at you as a fuck up or a disappointment."

"You don't know shit about me."

"I know more about you then you give me credit for. You angry that your father left you? Are you mad you had to take over the role of as the man of the house? Does your father have a whole family somewhere else?" She asked with a smirk on her face.

"Shut the fuck up bitch." I barked through gritted it.

"That's it huh? I think I struck a nerve. Now we are getting somewhere Mr. Carter. You feel that you are feeling now?" She asked poking my chest. "Express to me how you're feeling."

"I feel like you need to mind your fucking business if you know what's best." I walked out slamming the door behind me. I went into one of the bathroom as hot tears filled my face.