You walked the hallways of Beacon Hills alone.
It was never like this, you used to have a friend on either side of you, conquering school together, conquering the world together. But not anymore.
Have you ever just reached a breaking point? You feel like you are going mentally crazy? The littlest things drive you crazy, they make you freak out? Have you ever been so scared that you just wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out?
You had never felt that way until 3 months ago, when everything changed.
Four months ago, before everything happened, you were completely happy, you loved your life and you were constantly surrounded by your best friends. Allison, Lydia, Scott and Stiles. They were the best friends you could have ever asked for, you guys were a package deal. Wherever one person went, the other followed. You were a family.
Things started to change right after, Allison, Scott and Stiles came back from "dying". They weren't the same people after that. They were sad, depressed, lonely and going crazy. It was like a piece of them was left behind on their "adventure."
Then things in Beacon Hills got crazier because Stiles was possessed by a nogitsune. The nogitsune entered his mind and took over his body. He fed off of sadness and chaos. Void Stiles, as we called him was a trickster and we never knew if the real Stiles was with us or it was Void Stiles. He played mind games with us and that was what drove you the most insane.
Void Stiles played more mind games with you, then with any of your other friends. When Stiles was possessed, the nogitsune would make him say these absurd things to you, which you started to really think about and take seriously.
"The pack doesn't need you, they would be better off killing you and leaving you to die" the nogitsune told you the one time when it was just the two of you.
You could remember that day like it was just yesterday.
Void Stiles had tricked you into following him into an abandoned warehouse and then he locked you in the room.
"You're useless, a human with no abilities. I'm surprised they kept you around this long. You don't help, you're just a weak little girl" he said to you.
"I'm not weak" you muttered to Void Stiles.
"Then let's see you try to get out" he replied.
You looked around the room to see if there was anything to use as a weapon, or you looked for an escape but there wasn't one and now you started to believe that you were weak. You weren't a banshee like Lydia, a hunter like Allison and you weren't a werewolf like Scott. You were a lousy human who was in fact, weak.
You begged and begged for Stiles to control his body and let you go but that only made the nogitsune more powerful. He felt how scared you were, he felt your pain, and he needed your energy.
Void Stiles walked over to you as you huddled in the corner of the room, crying. Void Stiles grabbed your arm and pulled you up, you tried not to look at him and you tried even harder to be brave.
Void Stiles twisted your arm, making you shout out in pain and then he grabbed your face and feasted on your fear. You saw black lines running through your arm and into his head, he was feeding off of you and you were letting him.
You had no idea how long you were stuck in that abandoned warehouse for, before your friends found you. It had to have been a few days though.
Void Stiles feasted on your fear many times throughout those few days. He would tell you that you were better off dead, he even would attack you a couple of times and then he used your energy to gain even more power.
There was nothing you could do but wait to get out of there, if you even did at all. At one point you had wished that he would just kill you already, the mental and physical abuse was eating away at you. You just wanted it to end, you didn't want to be a part of something like this again.
You were terrified. You were petrified of Stiles.
Once Stiles was back to his normal self and he was no longer possessed, you could not look at him. All you saw was Void Stiles, now your mind was playing games on you, tricking you into thinking that Stiles was tricking you and that Void Stiles never left. You thought everything the real Stiles said, was a lie.
You began to have horrible nightmares and you began to be afraid of falling asleep because you were re-living those cruel moments over and over again.
You tried your best to stay up every night, you drank tons of coffee, ate sugar and just begged yourself to not fall asleep.
Your thoughts were ruining your life, Void Stiles had ruined your life.
"Y/N, it's me. I swear" Stiles told you the one day.
"Y/N, everything is back to normal" Scott said.
"You can stop being paranoid now" Lydia told you.
No one understand what you were going through, no one knew what you had gone through with Void Stiles. You found yourself drifting farther and farther away from the pack.
The pack would try to call you or text you, but you would ignore them. At school, when one of your friends walked towards you, you went the other way. It wasn't worth talking to them and pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.
There were monsters in your head, Void Stiles, was in your head.
Every time you saw Stiles in the hallway, you had a mini panic attack because you thought he was going to trick you again and kidnap you. Your heart would race, your body would get sweaty and you even cried at times. "Make it stop" you thought to yourself.
As days passed by, you began to really think about your life.
"Do I want to be a part of the pack? Do they need me? Do I matter?" you asked yourself. And the answer was always no. They had who they needed, they didn't need a lame human who can't protect herself.
You decided it was time to end your friendships with them, it was the only thing to do at the time. You needed to get a peace of mind, you needed to stay away from the supernatural you needed your mind to be less crazy. You felt like you were going insane and like you needed to check into the Eichen House, it was that bad.
The longer you began to ignore their phone calls, the more they began to understand that they lost a friend. After a few weeks, they stopped trying to get in touch with you. After a few months, it was like you didn't even exist.
OFFICIALLY THREE MONTHS LATER, THE START OF SENIOR YEAR
You walked into Beacon Hills High School all alone, without a friend by your side and that was perfectly fine because it was your choice and the right thing for you.
You had taken the past few months to recuperate and really think about what was right for you. Not for the pack but for you. You needed a time away from people, a huge time away from the supernatural, you were craving a normal life and that was what you were beginning to get.
The first day of senior year would be one for the books, you were going to have a normal year and it would be great and you could not wait.
But of course, the first people you saw in school were your old group of friends. Only Stiles noticed you. You had looked at him right when he looked at you and he smiled and gave you a small wave but you ignored him and headed off into the other way.
"Y/N! Wait" you heard someone call out to you. You kept walking but someone grabbed your shoulder, "Please wait" they begged. You snapped your head around and saw that it was Stiles.
"What, Stiles?" you tensely asked him.
"How have you been? We miss you" he said.
"I'm fine" you replied and walked away.
"Please give me a minute to talk to you" Stiles said.
"No" you replied and then walked away, Stiles didn't follow you.
The rest of the day you stayed as far away from him as you could. It wasn't that hard because you didn't have any classes with him, or your old friends.
The next day at school, Stiles approached you again but you full on ignored him. Eventually, he walked away. But he kept trying to talk to you, every day for the next 9 days of school. He was relentless.
"I'm not Void Stiles anymore. I promise, I'm sorry if I did something to you when I was possessed, it wasn't me. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you" you listened to him tell you.
"But you did" you snapped at him.
Stiles had tried to call you, text you and talk to you every day for the next two months. The truth was that you missed him but you were still scared shitless of everything that happened between you and Void Stiles. It was scary and something you never wanted to go through again, it traumatized you and made you paranoid. You were still having nightmares and panic attacks frequently. You needed to stay away from Stiles.
"I'm just going to keep annoying you until you trust me again" he said to you.
"Good luck" you told him.
It was a Sunday afternoon and you were home alone, sitting at your table doing some homework. You heard the doorbell ring, which was odd because you weren't expecting anyone.
You went to the door and looked through the peep hole, it was Stiles. "Great" you mumbled. You tried to quietly go back to the table but he must have heard you, "I know you're there Y/N, please open up" Stiles begged. "Shit" you whispered. You took a deep breath and opened the door.
You looked and Stiles and then panicked. You felt like your throat was closing, you couldn't breathe, you began gasping for air and falling to the floor. "Y/N, oh my god" Stiles said, kneeling on the ground, picking your body up. You began to cry, holding your throat, you felt like the walls were caving in on you, you started to sweat like crazy and your heart was pounding out of your chest. You were having a panic attack but you didn't know why.
"Stiles" you whispered, grabbing onto his shirt.
"I'm here, look at me" he said. But you didn't want to look at him, you couldn't look at him.
"Shhh, shhh. Okay, calm down. Do, do remember back in the 3rd grade when I got hit in the head with a softball in gym class? And everyone started making fun of me because I was crying? Do you remember that?" Stiles asked you. You shook your head yes.
"There was this girl that got up in front of everyone and said, "Whoever did that to my best friend is going to pay!" she yelled. Do you know who said that? It was you. It was you, Y/N" Stiles told you and remembered that day. Stiles had been crying because he got hit in the head and all the kids in your class were calling him a big baby.
"Remember that time in art class when I peed my pants, I think it was in the fifth grade. The teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, so I accidentally peed my pants. Do you remember what you did for me?" Stiles asked you. Your heart was beating at a regular pace now, you weren't sweating anymore and you were calmer.
"I poured water down my pants to make it look like I peed my pants too" you whispered to Stiles.
"Yeah, you did. You were the best, Y/N. The greatest best friend in the word" Stiles confessed to you. You began to sit up, you recovered from your panic attack. You looked at Stiles again and then figured out what triggered your panic attack. It was Stiles' shirt. It was the same shirt that Void Stiles had worn when he kidnapped you.
"Stiles, it was your shirt that made me have a panic attack" you admitted to him.
"My shirt?" he asked.
"Void Stiles wore that shirt when he kidnapped me" you told him.
"Oh, I'm so sorry" he said and then he took the shirt off to reveal his bare chest.
"What did I do to make you hate me so much?" Stiles asked, his voice was cracking it was like he was ready to cry.
You didn't know if you wanted to tell him but you figured maybe you should.
"You played mind games with me. You told me that I was better off dead because I was useless and weak. You said the pack didn't need me anymore and then I started to believe you."
You saw Stiles' heart breaking. His eyes started to get teary eyed, "I didn't mean it" Stiles whispered to you. "I didn't mean it" he said again. "No wonder why you hate me" he said. "Stiles I don't hate you but I can't look at you. Every time I do, I see Void Stiles. I remember Void Stiles tricking me and I can't tell the difference anymore" you confessed to him.
"I swear he's gone" Stiles told you.
"I know he is but I don't know who to trust, I don't know what to do. I want the old you back" you whimpered, you wanted to cry.
"How can I show you that I'm still me?" he asked.
"I don't know" you replied.
"How about this?" he said.
Stiles cupped your face and kissed you. The kiss sent a spark of energy down your back that made you shiver.
"Would Void Stiles have done that?" Stiles asked.
"I don't think so, but I didn't think normal Stiles would either" you admitted.
"What you didn't know what that normal Stiles had wanted to do that for many years now" Stiles confessed.
"You've had a crush on me?" you asked him and you were really shocked because you had no idea.
"A massive one" Stiles replied.
"For how long?" you asked him.
"Since the time you told those other 3rd graders that they were going to pay for making fun of me" he answered.
"Since the third grade?" you asked him, still completely shocked.
"Yeah, since the third grade" Stiles responded.
"Holy cow" you whispered.
You glanced over at Stiles and you stared at him when he wasn't looking. The real Stiles was sitting next to you. The real Stiles had just helped you through a panic attack, the real Stiles just confessed his love for you. What do you do now?
"I don't hate you Stiles" you told him again.
"Not anymore?" he asked.
"I never did. It's going to take me awhile to trust you again but I think I'm ready to start" you confessed to him. Stiles smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.
"The pack and I miss you terribly and we do need you. We need the smart, beautiful girl who knows exactly what to do when no one else does. You're the mastermind, Y/N. You have a purpose in the pack. Please let us show you" Stiles told you.
"Okay, I'd like that" you replied.
"No more mind games, I promise" Stiles said to you.
"Thank you" you said to him and you kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for the kiss too" you added.
Stiles turned to face you and he smiled and then you surprised him with a kiss.
"What was that for?" he asked you.
"That was for the little 3rd grade Y/N who had a crush on the dorky little boy. The same girl who has a crush on you now" you confessed to Stiles
