At this very moment you are alive, and you exist. There are 7 billion people who also exist right now. Some are thriving while others are struggling to get by. 7 billion is just a number. It doesn't account for the individual characteristics that make up the people that that number represents. We are not a numerical symbol. We are alive.
Out of those 7 billion people there is not one person who is exactly like you. Personality is the product of many different influences that surround us. Who we are is affected by our environment, experience, and internal predisposition just to name a few. These factors are beyond our control. We don't choose where we come from, what happens to us, or the chemical composition of our brains. And no two people will experience these stimuli the same way.
So who are we? Are we the results of a series of conscious decisions strung together throughout our lives? Are we the way we react to obstacles put in our path? Is what we are who we are? Can a monster be anything but monstrous? Can an angel choose to be the devil? How much of who we are is actually up to us?
"Could you give us some suggestions? Ya know, for a starting point," a student from the front of class asks.
She zoned out for most of the class period today, doodling absentmindedly in her notebook. They've been discussing the guidelines for their most recent paper- mythological creatures. The lore lost its appeal once it was discovered that any one of the creatures could be real and rear its ugly head in Beacon Hills at any given moment. Fantasy can be fun, reality, not so much.
"Sure," the teacher nods, grabbing a piece of chalk to write on the board. "Centaurs, having the head of a human and the body of a horse, Chimeras, a collaborative nightmare of beasts, Gorgons, snake-haired women, Sirens, candy coated monsters-"
"What do you mean 'candy coated monsters'?" she interjects, regretting the outburst immediately. She found out a few weeks ago, and is still trying to process. It doesn't help that the vast majority of the information out there portrays her in a less than flattering light. Sirens are the villains. They lure innocents to their untimely demise. They tempt death.
"Well you see sirens are depicted as being beautiful women with equally enchanting and sorrowful voices. While they outwardly appear enticing and sound inviting, they lured sailors to their death. Some myths even say that they were cannibals who ate their victims and lived amongst the rotting corpses," he informs.
"Gotcha," she says blankly, regretting that she asked for clarification in the first place. She doesn't want to be a monster, but if every piece of information out there paints her as one, does she really have a choice? This is what she is, and no amount of consolation can change that.
"I'm gonna give you guys the rest of the class period to do some research in the library. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Presentations start a week from today," he dismisses, the chairs screeching in unison as the students start for the library.
**
"He has no idea what he's talking about," Liam reassures, sliding into the seat across from her. Various books on mythology are scattered across the table, leaving the wooden surface hidden. Usually her favorite part of history class is the fact that she has it with Liam. Out of the pack he's the one she's the closest with and spends the most time with. But right now, she doesn't feel much like talking at all.
"Do you have any idea what you're talking about? I mean c'mon, Liam. Have you ever read anything about sirens that says something different?" she huffs, keeping her eyes focused on the book in front of her. She doesn't want to look at him. If she does he might see what she sees, and it would break her heart if he began to think less of her.
"I don't give a damn about what the books says," he growls lowly, "I know you, you're not a monster."
"How the hell can you know me when I don't even know myself?" She snaps, getting up from the table. She used to have everything planned out, everything organized. She had a plan for how her life was supposed to go. Now everything is different and the status quo has been compromised. The aimless wandering feeling fills her with panic and anxiety. She has no idea where to go from here.
"I'm unbiased," Liam joins her at the bookshelf, not phased by her harsh tone. He knows how hard this is for her, maybe even harder than it was for him. Everyone comes to terms with things at their own pace in their own way. The best thing you can do is let them show you what they need and act accordingly.
"What?" she asks, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. Liam looks different. Not drastically different, but not the same as he was last year. He looks older, maybe even a little more stable. He handled what happened to him remarkably well. Granted there were some rocky spots, but he came out the other end in one piece and better than before. She wonders if she'll ever get to that point.
"You see the worst in yourself, but that's not the whole picture. You have a very limited view," Liam explains, watching her focus a little too hard on the bindings of the books.
"Oh," she mumbles, trailing her fingers across the shelves. If anyone would understand what she's going through it would be Liam. He was a mess, IED and all. But now he's thriving and that should give her some comfort, but it doesn't
"Hey, look at me," Liam insists, tiring of her avoidant behavior. She's been wallowing around in self-deprecation ever since she found about being a siren. It pains him to see her acting like this when she's normally so vivacious and bubbly. Her attitude has done a complete 180 and he misses her.
"Just drop it, Liam," she sighs, feeling the slightest twinge of guilt for being so difficult and bleak lately. This isn't her. She may not know who she is, but she sure as hell knows it's not this.
"No. Look at me," he pushes, jostling her arm.
She gives in, turning to face the boy standing next to her. It's a surprise to find that he is a good two to three inches taller than her. When did that happen? They used to be the same height. Not only has he stretched vertically, but his arms have expanded horizontally. The muscle is more defined in his bicep and his eyes look brighter than normal. She's not sure if he's different or if she's just seeing him different. Regardless, a weird feeling forms in her throat, making her want to scream. She pushes it down, afraid of what might happen if she opens her mouth.
Liam places both of his hands on her shoulders; holding her in place and making her look him in the eye. "You are not a monster. You're the same person you were a few months ago. The only difference now is that you know. I still think the world of you and nothing can change that. I just wish you liked you as much as I like you."
"Thanks, Li," she gives him a small smile, folding into his chest to give him a hug. It's going to take more than a motivational yet heartfelt speech from a cute boy to get her back to where she was, but it's a start.
"Anytime," he grins, brushing his hand through the back of her hair soothingly.
"So, what are you doing your paper on?" she asks as she pulls away, desperate to take the attention off of herself.
"Cyclops. The Odyssey is one of my favorite stories," he informs, an odd smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
"Really? I didn't know that about you."
"I'm full of surprises," he wiggles his eyebrows, making her laugh.
**
Time passes the way it always does- quickly and unexpectedly. It doesn't feel like a week has gone by, but sure enough she's just sitting down after finishing her presentation even though it feels like just yesterday she was sulking around the library with a concerned Liam on her heals. But she is thankful to be done with the project, ready to move on as soon as possible.
"Alright, we have time for one more presentation today. Who would like to get it over with?" the teacher asks, confident at least one more person is prepared.
"I'll go," Liam announces, walking towards the podium at the front of the class. He looks confident and that weird smirk he had at the library a week ago has returned. The look makes her confused and a little anxious.
"The floor is yours Mr. Dunbar," the teacher gestures for him to begin.
Liam clears his throat and shifts his weight to get into a comfortable stance, his palms resting casually on the podium. "I did my project on sirens, which I'm sure you're all vaguely familiar with after the brief description from last week."
The rest of the class nods to indicate 'yes', they are familiar with the creature. She, on the other hand, nearly chokes on her own tongue at the reveal of Liam's creature of choice. She was prepared to learn all about the Cyclops, not herself. What the hell is this?
"Great. So as everyone knows sirens are creatures from Greek Mythology that lured sailors to their death by causing shipwrecks with their beautiful yet haunting song. Some myths say they had bird features such as wings and scaly feet, but other myths claim they were beautiful, seductive women," he begins. Something about the way Liam said 'seductive' makes her want to laugh, but she controls herself.
"While this is very fascinating, I chose to focus on the origins of sirens since you don't hear about it too often. Or at least not as often as you should. Originally, the sirens were friends of Persephone. They didn't start out as the monsters we like to think they are. When Hades took Persephone away to the underworld, Demeter gave them wings so they could search for her. But when they couldn't find her, Demeter cursed them for failing to intervene in her initial abduction, which is how they became what we know them as today. You see, what happened to them wasn't their fault. Persephone's abduction and failed search party were not their fault, but they were punished for it anyway. If you think about it, they're victims. They weren't born monsters, they're monsters of circumstance," Liam finishes, aware that the bell will ring any second now and he will lose of the attention of those listening.
"Interesting take, Liam. I look forward to reading your paper for a more in-depth analysis," the teacher gives him an approving nod, the bell dismissing the class.
**
She leans on the wall outside of the classroom, waiting for Liam to gather his belongings and catch up with her. For the first time in a while she's smiling genuinely. It might not be the biggest, brightest smile that ever was, but it's a real smile nonetheless.
"You're the best, you know that?" she beams at Liam as he walks out of the classroom, fitting into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist. He lets his arm fall over her shoulders as they walk to their lockers, which are conveniently right next to each other.
"I do what I can," Liam grins, happy to see her happy, "Did my presentation do the trick? Or should I make a power point with smooth transitions and snazzy background music?"
"It did the trick. And please don't ever use the word 'snazzy' again," she laughs, spinning the locker comb.
"What kind of monster doesn't like the word snazzy?" Liam feigns a look of horror.
"A candy coated one," she grins in good nature, side-eyeing him.
"You're making jokes again, that's such a relief," he smiles at her warmly.
"I really can't thank you enough for doing all that research to make me feel better."
"I'd do pretty much anything for you," he admits genuinely.
"This is the most me I've felt since I found out. I'm so happy I could kiss you," she jokes, slipping her bag over her shoulder.
"I wouldn't stop you," he says seriously, getting his hopes up just the tiniest bit.
She pauses, looking him over carefully as she lets his words sink in. They've always been more flirty than friendly with each other, but both were too afraid to make the move that would push them over the flirty friends edge and into relationship territory. But with everything that's been going on lately, now is as good as time as any to take the leap.
With a burst of confidence, she gently grabs the front of his t-shirt and pulls him closer. Their foreheads touch with their lips just mere centimeters apart. She turns her head ever so slightly, making their libs rub together teasingly. He groans low in his throat, impatient with her actions. His hand slips behind the base of her neck as he presses their lips together roughly. The sensation is new but comfortable, like this is what their friendship has been building up to the entire time.
"So, do you think I fit the siren mold?" she asks when they disconnect, still keeping each other close.
"I literally just did a whole presentation explaining why you're not a monster," he chuckles.
"No, I mean do you think I'm seductive?" she narrows her eyes and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, giggling the entire time.
"Ohhh. Yeah, definitely. That part you fit perfectly," he leans in, giving her a quick peck before they make their way towards the exit.
As her fingers intertwine with Liam's she thinks about the other 7 billion people in the world that are alive and existing just like she is. She wonders if they know that what they are is not who they are, that they have a choice in how they turn out. She wonders if they know that who they were yesterday doesn't have to be who they are today. She hopes they do.
