I've always wondered what life would be like if I never met you.. .
Would I be happy?
Would I still have trust issues?
Would I still have gotten depressed?
Would I still be scared to love?
All these questions, and all I want is to just believe that I would be the same. Idk.. . Maybe if we never met or even spoke I would be happy, I would never have gotten my heart shattered and had to act like it didn't hurt at all. Just acting like I seen it coming, well that's at least what I tell everybody now. Truth is as soon as I got that text my heart sank, it killed that happy, sweet nice girl that was so friendly, the one who wasn't awkward or sad all the time. I still think about what we used to have, I'd be lying if I sat here and said I never missed you, I wish I could forget you. But I still love you but I just could never trust or be with you again. Sometimes I sit and think what I did wrong.. Why did I do? That's all I ever wanted to know. My friends and my mom all say it was because I wouldn't give it up to you, but i really hope you wouldn't do it over something that ughh. I realize now that I will never get the answer to that question, but I see now you're happy with someone else.
I'm happy that you found love, I guess I'm just mad that I'm searching for it still. Like I'm just so afraid that if I date someone they will do what you did to me. That's why I'm always single and never have a relationship for more than a week. I get so caught up in what if's that I forget the other persons feelings and end it. Then I soon regret it and the person never talks to me again.
I want to hate you so damn much but I can't, even tho I have every reason to hate your guts I still just can't.
Why is it so damn hard to me to accept that I'll never never truly know why you ended it the way you did, which was pretty rude and inconsiderate in my opinion js. Like I guess I just thought we'd be like the movies, now I know the glass slipper didn't quite fit, I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be. I hope she can be your Cinderella and make you the happiest man on earth. I guess this is where i say goodbye..
--- Katie.. .
