I guess I thought I was done going on about nothing. I wasn't. I never am. I forgot to tell you happy birthday. I truly hope today is the best day of your life. I hope you get everything you ever wished for. Sounds lame but I hope all your dreams come true. I hope you get to spend today being treated like the amazing person you are. I still remember your 15th birthday like it was yesterday. I gave you that drawing and that letter. You remember that? Damn, I miss it. When we sat in your room I was so nervous when you opened that letter and read it. It put tears in your eyes, thus putting them in mine as well. I didnt think my words had the power to do that. But everything I wrote in that letter, still means the same it did 2 years ago. You're still getting old as hell lol. Like stop growing up!! You're still the only person who cares enough to stay up with me to make sure I didn't do something stupid. And when I say the only one. You were. Everyone else just pretended. You truly cared for me. And I took it for granted. And I think that's the one thing I regret in life. I let you down. I disappointed you. But at least now I can't do that anymore. I learned that Ill survive the loneliest nights, and I won't give up the fight. I don't deserve to be in your life, and I'm happy now I'm not. Not that I don't wanna be, I just see how happy you are. You are going to be an amazing woman one day. I'm sure one day you're gonna be a professional dancer and I'm gonna hear your name as they call you to the stage and smile. Smile because you didn't give up. Smile because you did it, smile because you're doing what you love and that one of the people who changed me and made me a better me, is dancing and showing people how beautiful of a dancer you are. If I could change my life I would make things right, I would keep my mouth shut. But it happened for a reason. And the reason is for your happiness. I wasn't meant to be in your future, but that's okay. I'm glad I can see you smile. I still remember sophomore year, Ms. Heffernans class. It made us so close. I remember 2nd semester when we had a fall out, the last day of school after my final I talked to her and she was in tears because we weren't friends for that time. And seeing how much it impacted her, I didn't understand it. But it made me cry and it just blehhh. It wasn't a good day for me at all. Those few months were horrible. Second semester was horrible to say the least. It broke us. We talked less and drifted. I always wonder if you remember that night we made random ass videos and posted them. Where we first started doing them. Or the morning I came over and had no idea how to work that damn lamp. Those are the memories I will cherish. I still go back and watch all those videos. They make me cry but, it's happy tears. I'm grateful I got to spend those moments with you. I'm grateful I got to be your friend. And I thank you for that.
I guess this letter that was supposed to be a happy birthday letter turned into a bunch of random thoughts. But I'm sure you get the jist of what it meant. Happy Birthday kid, you're gonna do great things one day.
