Have you ever looked deep into someone eyes and felt at home? Me either. I see what I let myself see. I won't let myself get conforable enough with someone to be like that. No matter how much he feels like I home I can't let myself actually believe that it will stay like that. I feel like an orphan that's been moving home to home, never a permanent place to call home. Always getting kicked out, or begging to get out of the place that was once home. Some I still wish that I could have stayed longer, but it never really worked out like that. I was never good enough to stay, never the right fit. Home, the one place I wish I could find in his eyes. Or anyones eyes, but his eyes, I feel so safe and content. I want to call him home, maybe not have to leave this time. He could be the home I've been searching for, he could be... Could he? What if though right? What if I let my walls down and then it gets blown up in my face? What if I'm just walking into a home I once knew? A broken home.
But the eyes get me, so deep and dark but the sun always brings the light to his soul. The light I see even in the darkest of nights. He is my light, no matter how dark my life is. He brings the joy and warmth to my heart.
Little does he know, I can't call him home. No matter how much I want to. I want to let my walls down completely. But how can I? It's not as easy as it seems. It never really is. I'll always be an orphan, no place to call home.
