I've realized the last few days I've been writing so much. My state of mind, it's just in that state of feeling. Feeling everything at once, all my emotions coming in. Sad, mad, happy, idk how I'm feeling anymore.
I'm sad because the people I let go.
I'm mad because they actually left me when I needed them the most.
I'm happy because I have 2 good people in my life that care about me. I'm happy because I have a job and I'm able to support myself. I'm happy because I'll be able to get out of the Hell house I've been living in for the past 18 years.
Now looking at how I'm feeling, I have so much to be happy about, yet I'm still upset. No matter how many things I can be happy about there's always that one thing that's gonna out weigh it. I hate that, why can I be happy for the things I can be. But you, you come back in my brain when I'm happy. You just tear and tear at my heart, my mind everything. You make me want to quit everything. Thinking about how it's over, how I'll never see you again unless it's through the glass window. Never gonna be able to hold your hand again, be able to talk to you face to face. Always a sheet of plexiglass between us. No talking to you, talking into a phone hoping you hear me, my feelings my emotions.
