What am I supposed to do? When the weed doesn't take the pain away? When the pills I'm popping aren't working? When I have to take double than what I started taking. What happens when it becomes too much for my body to handle? Will I be happy then? When no matter how many shots I take I still feel as numb as I did before I drank.
I want to be normal again. Feeling numb is normal now. I try to take uppers but they just make me feel more down. They do the opposite effect to me. Tryna get high as much as I can to stay lifted, but the come down is the worst. It's like jumping out of a plane and your parachute fails. And I slam back into my life that's falling apart around me.
I always asked myself what am I gonna do when the drugs don't work? Now I'm wondering when are they finally gonna put me out of my misery? When is it gonna be too much? When is my body going to have enough of the abuse?
At least I won't be disappointing anyone, right? I have no one. I have myself, and I'm fine with the drugs taking me and pulling me into the oblivion. Just when?
