What's your Sign?

Chapter 42 - Friday Night Lights

Jermaine

"So when tour starts and you stop in North Carolina... I really think you should go see your dad" my mother spoke and I sucked my teeth.

My blood begin to boil as she looked at me with sureness. I got up walking away to the kitchen.

"He wants to talk to you"

"You been talking to him?" I almost yelled at her. It became quiet as I poured myself a cup of lemonade. I still waited for a response. I walked out the kitchen and she was looking down at her hands.

"Yes Jermaine, I have" she spoke in a tone as if she wasn't obligated to even tell me.

"Well that's as close as he's going to get to talking to me" I spoke and she nodded. I grabbed my jacket.

"I have to go, I'm about to drop this mixtape, that's all that really matter at this moment. I need to have a clear mind"

"Clear mind as you run away from your problems?" She spoke and I walked to the door, opening it and closing it behind me.

Walking on to the green grass. I know she hated when I walked on her grass but as a child our grass was never green. It reminds me that this grass is greener on the other side. We struggled and struggled, but it's so much beauty in the struggle so I appreciate everything that I have ever went through.

My father basically left us to die. I seen my mother tear herself down after he left. It's the worst thing to see as a child. To see the woman that you thought had all the power in her hands, because she was your mom. But shit was different for me; I hated the way she let him treat her. I fucking hate that nigga, but sometimes I see myself in him. I sometimes want to cry about it but I don't.

He left us, high and dry. No money to go start a family with another woman. The betrayal I feel every time I think about it. I hate myself for not killing that nigga after hitting my mother. But I sat there just watching as he strike her again. Once I got order all we did was fight for my mother's safety. Once I tried to stopped him, but that only ended with me walking to school with bruises on my face. I once caught him cheating on my mother and he manipulated me to believing that a man isn't a man if he tells everything he sees. I never told. I let my mother live through that as I knew the whole story.

" you wanna be a man?" He asked me and I nodded with so much innocence.

"Yeah I wanna be a man"

"A man doesn't tell his mama everything he sees"

"I ain't gon tell"

"Aight Aight man, be a man then"

Stepping into the studio. Sitting in the reclining spinning chair. Laying back as my notebook sat in my lap. I pulled out a pen.

Teyana

"It's called Never Told" I listened as I heard his voice in the beginning. He started and his voice made the hair on the back of my stand up.

Uh Angel Eyes, long hair
I see you cryin', what's wrong there
He did what? He fucked who?
We know the story, what's new?
See I could probably rush you
Tell you that I'll do all the shit he wouldn't do
But the truth is, we all the same
On different teams, but it's all a game

I took in every word as he nodded his head with no expression. My eyes widened as I listened to the dialogue in them. As he repeated Never Told. He clenched at them.

"You know what? I need to talk to you "
"About what? "
"I don't think this is, working out for us. "
"why? "
"I mean, I need some space. I mean no, I just want to find myself "
"What the fuck?! "