Baby Love

Ch 6

What felt like only minutes later(but was really close to 6 hours later) I woke up to a loud crash just outside the dressing room. Instantly curling in a ball my phone clenched tighly in my hand. I was shaking so bad as the door swung open and all of the guys flooded in. I was so startled when one of them sat down that I screamed and bolted to a small ajoining room. I was so panicked I quickly pulled my phone out calling ashton.

"H- a ashton can i come out there early please?

A- heyy shhh princess what happened?

H- ashy i just cant do this anymore my anxiety is killing me. I i ccant even sit in the dressing room with out panicking.
(Starts sobbing)

A- heather sweetheart are you alone love?

H- y yeah wh why

A- shhh babe its ok. I want you to go find either alex or zach princess. Can you do tha

H- ashy i cant go back out there.

A- hey hey shhhh princess its ok i just texted zach hes going to come to you baby just stay still. Just listen to me ok sweetheart. As much as I would love to be all awesome big brother right now we cant get you out here til london babe imso...

M- HEATHER! Kitten are you okay.

H- mmikey i cant do this anymore m my anxiety is"

"Heather kiddo are you in here," i looked up seeing zach walk over pulling me into his lap

"Z- ash ive got her now

M- ZACHARY STEVEN MERRICK YOU GUYS SAID YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF HER

Z- mike were trying ok

H- mikey pl please

M- zach just shut up damnit i trusted you people. Now,heather kitten just breathe for me sweety. Ok, in and out.

H- mikey im trying. Its hard.

M- i know sweetheart, i know. But you are ok. I may be mad at these guys for letting the anxiety get this bad again but were gunna fix it I promise. Ash and I made some calls and you have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning we emailed the details to Alex.

H- o ok. Bubba

M- and i know you hated them, but we think maybe itstime to try the meds ag..

H- NO! You promised.

A- babe its just an option okay.

M- sweety you know we would never ask you to do anything we though would hurt you. Just give them a chance if the doctors ask you too okay.

H- okay mikey.

M- thats my girl... No baby we gotta run bus calls in five and we still have to grab the others well call soon i promise

H-bye"

I sat nearly frozen hearing the line go dead. How could they possibly want to put me back on meds when they know how I reacted last time. I was panicky and spaced out when I felt a warm pair of arms pull me up and into their chest. "Shhh hun just relax for me okay," tyler says quietly rubbing my back. I slowly began to relax into him feelin small. "Th thanks tyler" i stuttered leaning into him. His arms wrapped around my waist holding me close. I couldnt help but subconsciously nuzzle into his chest as he held me close something about him relaxing me. "Babe why dont we get you to a bed,hmm? Ill stay with you tonight." I shake my head, "Its a travel night Ty. I have to stay with the guys" i said nervously. "Babe ill stay with you okay. I promise Im not going to force you into anything youre not comfortable with, but I will stay and cuddle if you want." He said quietly leading me through the dressing room grabbing my backpack and walking us to the bus. I smiled slightly pulling him to my bunk and crawling in curling into him once he lays down. I began to relax again as he rubbed my back in gentle calming circles. "I swear ill take care of you, you'll always be safe with me." Was the last thing I heard him say as I fell asleep.

The next morning Alex and Zach had me up fairly early throwing clothes at me and dragging me out the door to a doctors office before I could process anything. I then spent the next two hours getting asked a milion question, having five vials of blood drawn, and then pumped with a round of steroids to help my respiratory infection that wasnt improving. By the time they finished with me I was so tired Zach had to carry me out because I was stumbling around half asleep looking drunk. From what I had gathered they were putting me on a new type of anxiety medication, and a round of nutritional supplements. I smiled a bit when I received a text from luke however. "13 days and 2 hours til you're back with us" with a picture of all the boys making hearts with their hands. I continued to text him until we gotto the bus. "Ok hun since the hotel isnt ready and youre meds are gunna make you sleepy were gunna leave you here. There will be someone up front at all times and the radio is on the dinette if you need to reach us." Zach told me softly as he placed me in my bunk, and put a small bar up so i wouldnt fall out. "Get some rest ill be back to check on you soon,"he finished kissing my head before running out. I laid back letting my mind wander as music poured into my ears via my earbuds. The heavy beats of bands like Bring me the Horizon contrasting against mellow preformers like Ed Sheeran and Halsey. I was lost in my own world completely out of it typing away in a private folder I have on my laptop triple protected wih passwords and locks when I felt someone tapping my shoulder. I slammed my laptop shut pulling my earbuds out seeing one of the guys from state champs standing next to my bunk. "Hey im derek," he said calmly resting his head on his arms leanig into my bunk. "Uh yeah cool." I replied slightly annoyed. "Why are you here?" I asked after a bit of him just standing there. "Oh, zach and alex asked me to check out you since their having problems at so..." I didnt even finish listening to him as I grabbed my laptop and my back backpack pulling a hoodie and shoes on walking to the venue. I walked inside seeing they were having problems with the lighting setup. "HEY! Geniuses i have the plans cmere" I yelled out pulling up the lighting plans on my laptop so they could see. Once everything was set up properly and they finished doing a quick sound check Alex and Jack walked over to me. "Do I even wanna know where Ri nd Zach took Derek?" I asked tiredly knowing that they would flip shit for him letting me leave the bus. They both just shrugged and jack walked over picking me up as they walked to catering. I watched quietly as they both piled two or three plates each high with food pulling off an ultimate balancing act carrying it to a table. "Babe go get some food you can eat whatever we wont tell anyone." Alex said softly as he sat down. I just shook my head and played on my phone. Checking my blog and the short vlog Id posted earlier. Soon enough there were several plates and bowls being pushed in front of me and a repetitions of 'try this' or 'babe just a few bites please' but I just wasnt in the mood. Finially getting frustrated I stood up grabbing my bag and walked bck to the bus letting a quiet sigh out when it was quiet and peacful. I walked to the back hooking my laptop up to the tv just as my skype started ringing. I hit the answer button and was instantly greeted by luke and cal. I waved silently pulling my headset on saying a quiet "Hey guys." "HEATHERRRR" they both yelled as soon as they heard me. I sat talking to them for a while giggling at how excited they were to be back on tour after all the time off theyd had. I had realised id zoned out until they got quiet and i heard luke say, "baby are you ok." I shookmy head a bit looking up at them "m'fine lulu i promise." I didnt even have to look up to know that he would be frowning and cal would be on his phone. I was surprized when I looked up and they were both looking at the phone though. "Babe why arent you eating," luke asked worriedly looking up. Im not hungry luke. The doctor said that the meds can cause loss of appetite im fine. "Thats the thing babe You arent fine. You have a history of eating disorders, and as I much as Id love to say they can handle you. The all time low guys are equipped to be watching you constantly to make sure you eat, and neithe... "I couldnt listen take it so I through my headset down sprinting outside and down the road I didnt care that I would end up lost in an alley way at some point freezing. I just wanted a break. After a while I found a park with a small pond and sat on the slamm brick wall next to it. It was peaceful and easy being alone. It came natural to me having been alone in some sense my entire life. My mind was wondering off on its own again when I faintly heard someone yelling my name. I still didnt bother paying attention as It seemed to get louder and closer. Instead focusing on the water watching the way the suface would ripple with the slightest breeze or how the fich seemed to effortlessly glide throug it. I was relaxed and happy for once... Until i was falling