Baby Love

Ch. 36

I was trying to avoid his gaze when he pulled back with big puppy eyes. "Why not angel its just us, and Ill... ok ok no more kissing, but I would like those cuddles you agreed to earlier?" He cut himself off when he saw my hesitation. I nodded curled up against his side pressing my face into his shoulder. "Baby, its ok Ive got you." He whispered softly wrapping his arms around me for a bit. "Sor..." he cut me off putting a finger to my mouth shushing me and mumbling "c'mere" quietly as his arms tightened around me. He chuckled quietly and reached past me grabbing the remote turning the TV on flipping to a random show. I hummed quietly melting into his side as he would occasionally feed me bits of his food. These were my favorite times. The whole world seemed to fade away and all I had to focus on was Cal and the warmth around me. "Hey babe?" I looked over at cal when he finally spoke a while later. His eyes were twinkling as he watched the fourth of july scene in the movie. "Do you wanna go to my Aunts get together for the fourth love?" But his smile turned into a quick frown. "Well n not with your family cuz I know they dont treat you right but maybe with the guys." I chuckled quietly and sat up kissing his cheek. "Let me plan this then. You just grt everyone to agree to show up, yeah?" He nodded and we both snuggled into the bed more. His fingers were rubbing at a big knot in my shoulder causing me to whine quietly. I was confused when he wiggled away from me but sighed when he had me lay face down and he straddled my thighs. He reached up tapping my shoulder until I turned to look at him. "Just tell me if Im too rough ok baby?" He asked with big soft eyes. I nodded and laid my head down practically purring when he begins massaging my back. "Oh baby girl your neck is so stiff," he said sadly rubbing at the sides of it gently. I nodded getting teary eyes when the stiffness starts to give me a headache. I could practically hear his frown as he gently moved my hair the back of my neck. "Relax baby its all gunna be ok. M'gunna take care of you I promise." "B b but 's suppose to be 'bout you today..." i peered back at him after wiping my eyes. "And I want it about you so well care for each other. But I can see youre in pain so m'gunna fix it." He leaned down leaving soft kisses along my shoulders and I nodded softly whining. "I know baby i know, shhhhh." He gently rolled me onto my side and laid next to me. "Im gunna grab the headache kit Ill be right back yeah?" His cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead. Everything with him seemed to be focused around physical touch today. Everything lingering a few moments longer than normal before hed pull away and run off. I got up closing the heavy blackout curtains and had snuggled back into the bed when he stumbled back in with a sad smile setting the bag on the bed. "Ok, we have excederine for the pain. Juice to wash it down, and a cool compress to place on your neck to help you relax. ANDDD i have a little something special to help you relax." His voice getting a mischievous tone as he finished putting a few droppers of some liquid in my juice. I quirked my brow at him. "You drink first." But he just chuckled and put a few drops in his drink chugging it. "Baby its just cbd oil itll help you relax." I winced when I nodded too fast and sat up drinking some of the juice while taking the meds. His fingers were constantly dancing around my legs and sides in a way only he could do without tickling me. So I reached out and held both of his hands in mine. "Im not going anywhere Cal. I swear" his sad little nod had me worried as I gently cupped his cheek. "Is everything ok?" I asked loud enough I knew he heard me but still acted Like he didn't. My brows furrowed as I frowned touching his forehead gently. "Bub?" When he looked up it reminded me of watch my aunt drop her grandson of at his moms when he was little. A look of total sadness and slight betrayal andI felt likeId been stabbed in the heart. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders hugging him as tight as I could. "Baby I swear Im not leaving you. Itll be ok." He nodded and very lightly held my left hand in both of his leaving a feather light kiss under my tattoo. "Im just...". He sighed and swallowed thickly. "I've never been this in love before, and I dunno I get scared I'm gunna lose you. To all of these dark thoughts you get, and sometimes it just makes me feel powerless." It brought tears to my eyes seeing how truly upset he was and I nodded. "I i im s sorry Ill be better Im sorry." I hugged him even tighter doing the best I could to bite back my tears and cries. He shushed me quietly pulling me onto his lap. "Angel, thats not what I mean at all. Ive just never actually had anyone Ive loved like this before. And its all so much to take in sometimes so all I want is to touch you, but I get scared youll get upset so I settle for little touches." I frowned and looked up at his beautiful eyes and I started to say something but he cut me off with a soft kiss. "Shhh you dont have to do anything different sweetheart. I was just explaining why I linger sometimes." I nodded and shakily pushed his hand up the back of my shirt pressing it to my skin. "You shouldnt b be scared is all I was going to say. But now that you're allowing me to talk," i sighed and sat up a bit straighter. "I live for the moments when you linger. When you squeeze my hand just that little bit tighter, or your lips rest on my temple a few seconds longer than normal. Those little things help me fight the dark thoughts, Cal. You have absolutely no idea how much those moments help me." I was trying so hard to hide my pain while also being vulnerable with him. "Let it out angel. Its ok Ill keep you safe. ive got you." He mumbled quietly into my hair. Everything in the room seemed to fade away, and all that mattered were his arms wrapped around me. I was still biting back tears as I curled up on his lap. All of my focus was on his hands. The scratchy friction as his fingers traced over the sensitive skin of my lower back and my thigh. The soft puffs each time he'd breathe into my hair. I looked up when he pulled back and smiled when he very gently bushed my hair off my shoulder and pressed his face into my neck. Everything was lingering touches and soft warmth again. Things seeming to last too long yet not long enough and it was amazing... Until it wasn't.