Chapter 10: Somewhere Else

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SERRINA


Justin had taken my anger as a reason to be home more. Normally, I would have been happy. The kids all seemed to love spending time with him and I was finally getting enough sleep, but I still felt like absolute garbage and he spent just as much time looking at his phone as he did looking at his kids.

"Dad," I heard Krystal mumble across the kitchen table. I looked over and watched as he raised his brows but not moving his eyes from his phone, "Can you read my new story? I want to make sure its good before I hand it in."

"Yeah," Again, he didn't look up from his phone and held out his hand towards her. As she placed the paper in his hand, he reeled it in and placed it on the table in front of himself, "Ill check it out later."

Krystal instantly quieted down and her demeanour seemed to be reduced to the same of an ant. It made my heart shatter and I felt sick to my stomach, although I already wasn't feeling great.

"Hey," I called out, "Krys, hon, come help me with dinner?" She sheepishly nodded and stood up from her spot at the table, shuffling over to me like a dog with its tail between its legs. Once she was beside me I placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close to my side, pressing a kiss on the top of her head.

As she stood beside me cutting up carrots then celery for soup, I watched her emotions as they washed over her face. First, it was sadness - tears filled her eyes and threatened to pour out but she quickly blinked them back, then anger - her jaw got tense and her brows got all furrowed, frustration, and finally, acceptance - her face went slack and she let out a deep sigh and her face fell emotionless. She had come to terms that her father seemed to not care and she had forced herself to be okay with it.

I found myself putting down the knife I was holding and forcing myself to take a long, deep breath before speaking, "Justin, can we go in our room to talk?"

He finally forced his eyes away from his phone and they met mine. The best part of being with him since we were teens was that I had learned to spot fear in his eyes when he saw the anger in mine - right now, there was anger in my eyes and a dangerous amount of fear in his.

"Yeah," He mumbled and began to stand up, shoving his phone in his pocket. I nodded and walked over, taking his hand in mine, a pathetic attempt to show the kids that we were okay - even though we weren't - because Amelia was home and I didn't want her to think we were mad at each other.

As we crossed he doorway into our bedroom I closed and locked the door behind us, "What's wrong with you?" I began and gently shook my head. I didn't want to yell today, but I had a feeling we would get there.

"Excuse me?" He snapped defensively. His shoulders moved back so his chest expanded. I could see the muscles he used to have were faded away to almost nothing through his thin shirt.

I let his hand go and mine fell to my side, "You didn't even look at her story."

"I was..." He didn't say his next words because we both knew what my reaction to them would be.

"Working?" I finished it for him, "Justin, your daughter is looking for your attention and you're pushing her away."

He shook his head, "Serrina, I have a deadline I need to meet."

"So your kids are going to suffer?" Now my voice was raising in tone and my anger was showing in my words, "That isn't fair to them. I understand that music is important to you, but your kids should never be your second priority."

"You think my kids are my second priority?" He was yelling at me, "You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" I snapped back. I took a step forward and he took a step back. I was winning this so far, "You have been spending all your time in a studio instead of at the dinner table with your family. When was the last time you tucked Amelia into bed?" As he stared at me in shock I nodded, "Yeah, I can't remember either."

"You know what." He shook his head and crossed his arms, "Im doing my best. Okay? Ive cut back hours so that I can be here so stop treating me like a child. You are my children mother, not mine."

Now it was my turn to scoff, "Oh, I know. Ive been the only one here for the last month." I shook my head and took a deep breath. I was starting to feel sweaty from all the yelling, "Look," I sighed, "I really don't want to fight anymore. I think I'm getting a cold and I'm tired. I just need you to take few days off so I can rest. If you can't do that then I don't know what to say to you anymore."

"Serrina," He moved a hand to my cheek and shook his head, "I can't just take a few days off."

Suddenly, I was filled with rage. He hadn't even thought about it He had responded without even thinking about the possibility of a few days not working. He hadn't even considered my exhaustion and total need of peace because he couldn't get it through his head that his work was the source of the problems. Finally, I slapped his hand off my and pushed him away, "No," I looked down, not able to look him in the eyes, "My kids have always been my number one priority, but right now they're obviously not yours. I won't sit around and let them be second place to something that they never even wanted!"

I had never see him so enraged before as he clenched his fists and held them on his temples, "You're being so unreasonable!" His voice boomed over me and made me flinch, "I have taken so much time away from what I love to make you happy! Why can't I be happy for once?" He hesitated for me to respond but I had nothing to say, "Yeah," He spat, "Fine, Ill find somewhere else to stay for a while."

He pushes past me and left the bedroom. I quickly followed him out and when I got to the living room I saw Braxton and Krystal watching me in complete horror as their young get sister stared down at her iPad. She had headphones on and hadn't herd anything.

"Guys," I began but realized that they didn't want to know what it was about. They didn't need to deal with my problems. So, instead, I bit my tongue and smiled, "Let's get dinner going, okay?"

They both nodded and came into the kitchen to help me cook.

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