Insecure

09

July 6, 2015

Dear Diary,

Maybe I'll miss this place. Maybe I won't but you won't know unless we leave right now. Mom's just giving the driver the adress and Lamar is saying bye to Wagner.

Me? I'm sitting here writing in you because I don't have any friends. Yeah, maybe that's my fault just a little bit but at least I don't have to say bye to anyone.

Sometimes I'm just better off alone, you know. I know shut up your depressing but hey someone's got to listen and it might as well be you. Unless you want me to talk to Jane, she's in my head and very lovely may I add.

She listens mostly because she has to but who cares at least she listens. I'm kidding though there's no one in my head. I don't think. Maybe there is though. That'd be weird.

Instead of diary I think I'll call you rant because all I do is rant. Good idea? No? Yes?

Sarah-Jane Hines

It wasn't until I closed my rant, that I realized how crazy I seem. I literally just asked a book, what it's name should be, a fucking book.

Reason number one, why I don't have friends, I'm too weird. "I think we're ready to go" My mom says walking over to the car.

"Visit mom" Wagner says and hugs her. "I'll try. Bye son" she says getting into the car. "Bye Sarah" Wagner says looking at me.

It took me a minute to answer, he's never talked to me before. "Bye Wagner" I say and he smiles. "Alright! Travel safe and Lamar call when you get there" Wagner says.

"I will" Lamar says and my mom starts the car and pulls off with Wagner waving. This is going to be a long ride.

***
I did not realize that we had to go through, Philadelphia to get to New Jersey and that we were a few a hours from Maryland. As of now we are stopping in Pittsburgh because one, I need to use the bathroom, two I am starving and three I need to get out of this car.

"I want Cheetos and a Coca-Cola" my mom says, I nod and get out with Grace.

I take her to the bathroom and let her do her business while I did mine. We washed our hands and then got everything we needed.

"If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?" a boy with black hair, a lip ring, and really cute blue eyes says. I laugh and he smiles.

"Do you do that to a lot of girls" I ask. "Only the pretty ones" he says. "So, your saying that not all girls are pretty" I say.

"I didn't mean that at all" he says. "I think I got what you're trying to say it do" I say. "I'm terrible" he says. "You really are, I must be going now though. Thanks for the laugh." I say.

"It wasn't meant for a laugh but I guess my failing wouldn't get me your number, would it?" He asks and I laugh again. "Will you let me leave if I do give you it" I ask and he nods.

"I guess that could be a deal." He says. "Like I said, I have to go so let me pay for this" I say and he follows me and Grace to the register.

"I won't stalk you. I know when girls want there space" he says. "What's her name" He says once he realizes I have no idea how to answer that question. "Grace" I say.

"Is she your sister or daughter" he asks. "She's my sister" I say while the cashier is ringing up ny things. "We have Grace and a unknown very pretty girl" he says. "I'll will miss your comments, unknown handsome boy, my name is Jane" I say and he laughs.

"You have a sister named Grace and your name is Jane. I love it." He says and I pay for my things. I write my number on my receipt and hand it to him.

"See you around, Jane and Grace" he says and I wave. That was my first real conversation with a very hot guy or Murderized aka Cody.