Insecure

51

For the past few days, I have been in confusion. I hung out with my friends thinking they could help but they didn't listen so at night I was stuck staying up all night thinking about what my mom said. You love her.

I think I do but I don't know, does anyone ever really know if they love someone. All I know is that she is the best thing in my life right now and I am so damn happy to think of a future with her because she makes me feel a way that I just can not explain.

I laid there until there was knock on the door. It was my mom. "I am heading to your grandparents." She says and I nod. "That's means get up, Cody, get ready." She says and I nod again. She leaves and I lay with Stella, a few more minutes before getting up to get a shower.

I did my business, got dressed and headed out. As I was heading to my grandparents house, I remembered my bag wasn't in the car but I kept going, I could come back for it.

When I got to my grandparents not everyone was there yet so I parked my car a little ways from the house  and made my way inside. I said hi to whoever was there and then found me a seat.

Half the family showed up and I smiled at everybody wanting it to be over so I could go and see Sarah-Jane. It was getting dark so my mom whispered that I could go and slipped out before anyone notices, I think, nobody stopped me or yelled at me for not saying goodbye.

I ran back home to get my bag and said bye to Stella one last time before leaving. I got on the road and texted Sarah-Jane that I was on the way.

She didn't answer it until I was literally an hour away and she only said, "k". What did that mean? I haven't talked to her in days and the first thing she says is "k", if I had said that she would be hysterical.

I put it out of my mind and turn my music up louder so I didn't think about the text. I smiled at the song on my shuffle, it was the weeknd: the hills. I sung the whole song and then changed my shuffle so only weeknd songs would come on.

Sarah-Jane

"Cody's on his way."  I say to Chelsea. "Okay, why did I need to know?" Chelsea asks. "Just wanted to know if you were going to wait to got the store or just go now to get it over with." I ask. "We should go now, so we can come back and eat." Ranch says.

Ranch seems to be doing relatively good about having to move out of his home. Him and Chelsea have stayed with me since he was told, we got his things which are between mine and Chelsea house.

"Get your shut and let's go," Chelsea says and heads outside. I go to the back door to get money from my mom. "Are you going?" My mom asks and I nod. She tells me where the money is and what to get. I get it and head to the front with Chelsea and Ranch.

We go to Walmart and it was packed.  "Fuck me." Chelsea says under her breath. "Just find a spot so we can hurry and get the hell out of here," I say. Ranch quickly finds a spot that was basically at the end of the parking lot.

It was hot and we were tired not a good mix. We get in the store and split up. I get everything we needed for the food and they got drinks and snacks.

After I got the food stuff, I went to the clothing isle amd looked for some clothes but didn't see anything. We all met up and the register. We paid and got out of there. Once I got to the car, I got a text from Cody seeing where I was.

I didn't relpy because he knows I dont like it when he texts and drives. We head back to my house and pull into the driveway. Cody's car was parked on the street. I got out of the car and headed to the backyard where Cody was most likely.

"Hey babe!" Cody says when he sees me. I smile at him and hand my mom the grocery I got at the store and head back in the house. He follows.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asks. "No, I just can't talk about it right now." I say. "Is it about the other night?" He asks. "We can talk about it later, okay." I say and he nods and we back to the backyard.