Insecure

03

I heard yelling and ignored it. They fought like this all the time. Me and Lamar looked at each other when the yelling got closer. I got on my phone and didn't look up when the door opened.

"Yo, isn't your mom crazy" my mom's "boyfriend" Henry asks. "Don't talk to him" my mom says and Lamar looks at the tv. "You don't tell me what to do" Henry says and my little sister Grace comes into the room with us scared.

To be honest, I didn't care anymore. She has had more than enough chances to leave him and he hasn't. I don't care what he does or says, I couldn't be with someone like that. I'd leave, after kicking his ass.

They walk away from the room still arguing and Lamar shuts the door and gives me that "It's gonna get better looks". A door slammed and then it got quiet. Next thing you know Henry is talking on the phone with a girl, I guess. After he hung up is when all hell broke loose.

My mom's door opens and she comes out...pissed. "Really? Really? This is how you treat me. Bye go be with your slut" My mom says. "Leave me alone" Henry says. "Get out. Go be with her" my mom says.

"I will" He says and then gets up. You could hear the rustling. "We'll be gone when you comeback" my mom says. "Try it" Henry says and Lamar cracks the door. "I'm serious, now go be with your little hoe" my mom says and then Lamar rushes out of the room.

"Get off her" Lamar says and Henry chuckles. "you have no money. Wonder how far you'll get" Henry says. "Leave" my mom says. "I don't know" Henry says. "Get off her now" Lamar says more demanding. "Sure fat ass. I was leaving anyway" Henry says and walks out the door.

I didn't even bother getting up. It would happen sooner or later. Once my mom collected herself she got up and came to us. "Pack everything up. We're leaving tomorrow" She says and goes to her room while Lamar and I pack.

End of dream

June 29, 2015

I looked at the time and seen it was 2:00. That's understandable since I didn't go to sleep until 7:00 this morning. I don't know I just couldn't sleep. Instead of getting up I just laid there. I haven't had a dream like that in forever. I lift up my mattress and get the notebook. I lay my back against the wall and start writing.

Dear Diary,

I just had that dream, no nightmare. I haven't had it in forever. After that night we haven't been back. We got up at 7 in the morning just to get everything out. We went to school for about 2 hours and then she came and got us. My teacher talked to her and she still didn't listen. She believed that she was grown and could take care of herself.

But it wasn't just her. She had three kids and one more on the way. She cared more about him than her own kids which is terrible. Maybe we deserved it. Who am I kidding?

She's never wanted us. She has told me that more than a couple times. If I wasn't afraid of dogs, then she wouldn't have met him. So maybe it is my fault that she doesn't want us.

Sarah-Jane Hines

A knock on my door makes me quickly put the notebook away. "What" I ask. "Just making sure your alive" Lamar says and then I hear him walking away.

Of course I'm alive, legends never die. Oooo, I could put that into a song. I am a legend and legends never die unless they meet One Direction.

I know, I know that was amazing you didn't have to say anything. I silently laugh and get up. I go to my mom's room and lay on her bed.

"Sarah" Grace says and jumps on my back. "Ow that hurts" I say and she keeps jumping. Faythe comes and pulls on my face.

"Ow your hurting me" I say and fake cry, they stop and look at me."Sorry Sarah" Grace says while Faythe hugs my face. I hug them back and my mom comes into the room.

A few minutes later her room is filled with Lamar and his friends. I don't pay attention to them, instead I look at the TV. Just so happen my favorite show was on...Teen Titans! (Love the show no matter how old I am)

"Can you watch them until I get back" My mom says and all the boys clear out.

"Sure" I say and look back at the TV. Old episodes of Supernatural were on, I had to catch up.

The new season was coming on in October. When my mom leaves, the girls don't cry like usual they sit and watch the show with me.

Sam is soo hot! There is literally no denying, their both hot but I choose Sam. My mom came back after the episode went off.

"Where'd they go" I ask."Pete's house" She says and I nod. That crush I had on him is pretty much non-existent, one time thing.

I was young then but now I'm wise and I know that he is a fuckboy. And I don't fuck with fuckboys.

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We're not doing anymore flashbacks right now just diary entries.

Happy New Year!!! 2016

- Nia & Zoe